Everything

Needs to happen NOW.

Nothing can wait.

The past and future

Stand dismembered from time

My only experience of time

Is this moment

The one happening right now…

If it’s lost

Apparently, it’s lost forever.

The present has no hope

Of future fulfilment

Its existence is momentary.

 

I take stock

Of the debris I’ve created

By audacious beginnings-

Half eaten meals…

Half-written emails…

Things I began to say

But never finished saying…

Things I should’ve heard

But couldn’t…

I live with a perpetual sense

Of premature death…

Of the need of a language

With new idioms

That permanently exempt me

From excuses and regret.

 

Living in the present

De-linked from the past and the future,

Makes unnecessary

The virtues that belong

To a time stretched out

Like a continuous thread-

Patience, endurance, stillness…

I have no room for you.

My experience of time

Is a knot that has tied me down

In a tight bind

To the now.

 

Forgive me my forgetfulness

Of all the favours you did me

Forgive me for leaving behind

The memories you still hold on to

Please understand

That right now…

My happiness is momentary

My anger is momentary

My grief is momentary

My wisdom is momentary

Tied to the now

I lack the ability

To hold on to anything.