Source: And Life Will Go On...
And Life Will Go On…
Source: And Life Will Go On...
And Life Will Go On…
I had lived this moment
in my mind
many times-
over and over again.
I had heard you speak
(in my imagination)
words that pierced
through my heart.
And then…
there was stillness
Did I die?
Would I die?
How would I go on?
And yet today,
when what I had imagined
has followed its script
And come into being…
I find myself standing…
breathing…
I swallow it in.
I hear you
But I’m not dead
And I know that I will not die
because of what you’ve said.
I’ll live through it.
Life will prevail
over my limited imagination.
Catharsis
A passing cloud
had its cathartic moment.
It spat out its fury
cried out its pain
or melted in heated passion…
I couldn’t tell.
I only knew that
all that it had released
was all that it had absorbed.
I ran out then…
Looked up at the vast expanse
of dark feeling
lowered and wanting to touch…
to reach out.
I let it soak me.
And so it happened…
In its cathartic moment
I had mine.
Krishna Consciousness and the Art of Upliftment
There exists in human beings the unique capacity to conceptualize an ideal. But as readily as that comes to you in a state of inspiration or ‘darshan’- where you instantly glimpse the truth; rising up to that ideal is often a challenging, trying journey. It’s almost as if numerous forces line themselves up to frustrate and defeat your noble efforts. Why should it be like that? Why do we inevitably find ourselves in a battle with circumstances, to simply reach that, which we have been made to see or understand? Why is it not so that upon understanding, I be instantly lifted from my ignorance to enlightenment? Why must I have to wage a war against so many demons to attain that glimpse of Reality that has been made cognizable to my understanding? What are these obstacles that stand in my way?
Following the path of your understanding till you reach that ideal is your ‘Dharma’. Making a pilgrimage from the baser occupations of your life to your highest calling is your individual ‘Svadharma’. Now, having intended to follow my ‘svadharma’ why should I face so many obstacles to get there? Why should these obstacles exist? Who has put them before me?
The obstacles I face, are nothing but the hardened accumulation of my own past sins or indiscretions; the unconscious habits that have formed my character. And my character, in turn, has carved out my destiny. This destiny manifests itself in the circumstances I face today. The enemies we face on the outside were at first born within: and then nurtured and armed to destroy the very self who gave them life. But how did this happen? How did I unwittingly give rise to my own nemesis? How do I cultivate an objective view of this nemesis so as to conquer it?
The thoughts we entertain in our minds are the harbingers of the circumstances we will awake to. Thoughts that run askew and are unaligned with reality, drawn in different directions by desire, greed, insecurity, anger, fear, attachments and pride- are off the mark and are, what we identify as ‘sins’. Typically, sins agitate the mind and strip it off its repose and dignity. The way to know or see that your actions have been sinful, is to reflect upon one’s own state of mind- Are you happy, cheerful, optimistic, looking forward, or are you miserable, angry, pessimistic and hateful? Happiness in any condition- that is a state of being at peace with any circumstance is in itself, an indication of a mind attuned to a Higher Reality. On the other hand, being agitated at the slightest provocation, being thrown into despair, being fearful and angry, or constantly plotting to change circumstances so that they favour you- indicates a disarrayed mind. Such a mind lacks an ideal or a Godhead towards which thoughts ought to be directed. The first step to conquering an enemy is identifying it, then understanding it, and ultimately commanding it!
Immediately install at the dark altar of your ignorance an ideal or a Godhead. Daily, light a small lamp of knowledge to dispel false ideas and glimpse on a daily basis your ideal. Let you intellect keep a watch over all layers of your personality. Let them be ordered and integrated by the sane counsel of your intellect; and let your intellect in turn, fix its attention on that ideal/ Godhead. Your thoughts must be kept under a tight watch. They must be conscious and dedicated to your ideal. Your thoughts must revolve around your ideal- like the gopis immersed in their love for Krishna dance in a spirit of surrender and devotion around Him.
Rising In Love
Source: Rising In Love
Rising In Love
That we feel love- is a unanimous fact.
But how it prompts us to act and react seems to be individually determined. My state of mind determines whether I perceive love as a need, as an attachment or as pleasurable affection.
Does everything good, pleasing and gratifying indicate the presence of love and all that is painful, difficult and demanding- its absence? Why do we forge relationships out of love’s will and end them on ours? And then, why is every love story- with fiery, passionate beginnings- fated for an eventual separation, either physically or emotionally? Does a long-standing relationship indicate love’s blessing and a short-lived one its curse? And when our ‘affairs’ end, what changes mark our new beginnings? These questions that we frequently ask, indicate a need to assess our understanding of what love is and to stand enlightened about its place in our relationships.
How disintegrated and complex is the adult human heart! And in true inverse proportion how simple and effortless are the ways of children! Why is it so easy to love a child and so difficult to love an adult?
Children make no ‘conditions’ by which they shall ‘trade’ love. They don’t set out to make its laws; neither do they contemplate them; they simply follow them. And one of the most fundamental laws of love is ALIGNMENT. Children simply align themselves with their parents or environment in an unconscious bid to grow and be nourished. Adults, on the other hand, have developed a mind and the mind as such, is characterized by memories, ideas, needs, desires and attachments. Adults NEED love for other reasons-primarily for SELF-FULFILMENT. As we grow, so does our sense of lack. As adults we have unwittingly programmed ourselves to act to fulfil our ‘needs’. We’ve never really taken the time to discover our fullness. We enter into relationships to fulfil our needs, not realizing that the person we seek fulfilment from, is himself/ herself seeking fulfilment. How can someone who himself feels denied or deprived fulfil the needs of another?
To love another adult requires a constant examination and purification of one’s emotions. As adults, we feel loved when we are understood, respected, trusted, attended to, wanted and desired. Yet, if each is focussed on his/ her own demands to be met, the relationship can only end in tragedy. However, love- if we allow it to have its way- will eventually re-acquaint and align us with our own hearts.
Love’s fulfillment lies in two becoming one whole and then eventually, one whole realizing that it always was, is and will always be- All. For the individual, that love is true that fulfils the needs- not of the ego, but of the soul. Love, in the adult human mind, begins as a furtherance, an extending out of your self; and is experienced as a fuller presence. In wanting to repeat and recall the experience of that fuller presence, we embark on a journey that is more often than not, marked with rejections, trials and antagonisms. In and through those experiences, through every changing emotion, through every triumph of the spirit, we stand re-acquainted and fully aware of our essence. Love extracts out of you your full worth.
Which is why, sometimes even after a relationship has ended, your new beginning is marked- not with a sense of loss, but with a sense of gain. You sense a growth, re-discover your self-esteem, develop greater self-reliance, become more responsible, realize your faith and cultivate the ability to endure, tolerate and be patient. You plumb your depths and find within you unbelievable strength and courage. Love’s path is an upward path. Falling in love is a weakness of the human heart and rising in it- its strength. Love begins as affection and is fulfilled with realization of the Self. When you discover and realize within you- self-confidence, courage, faith, independence, tolerance and patience- then only do you gain a full awareness of love within you. Love then, ceases to be a thirst and becomes the fountainhead of every action that flows out of you. The difference between falling-in-love and rising-in-it is that in the first condition, it begins as a ‘need to receive’ and in the second- as a ‘need to give’. Simply put, love must GROW. It must transform from being needy to now being abundant.
An Intense Desire To Know.
Who indeed is interested
in my excellence
but me!
So powerful is my desire
to know
to be certain
to have affirmed
my glory…
That it divides me into two-
the fool and the sage
the criminal and the judge
the sinner and the saint
the wrong and the right
the actor and the thinker
the ignorant and the enlightened
the world and I.
how must I get to know that which I am ignorant of?
how must I reclaim that which I have severed from my self, so that I understand?
this knowledge I suspect
cannot be taught.
I must await its dawn
I must reach out in faith
I must curate my experiences with love.
All other affections are mean and misleading.
After all,
the world and its opposites exist
just so that I know who I really am-
An Intense Desire To Know.
Wisdom is thought freed.
Why do we do things that are ‘useless’ or ‘futile’ ? – Because we must… ‘Must’ – not in the sense of doing one’s duty or even as an act of blind faith in a higher purpose- but because whether we realize it or not, we are the’instruments’ through which action is done. Because we believe we are the doers of action, and we must act to protect and secure ourselves in an uncertain world- we believe that we can order our will. But ‘Will’-which is our unique human attribute- is not our instrument, it is our master.
The problem is that more often than not, that ‘Will’ is plugged into our sense of need or deficiency- unaware as it is of its sovereignty and abundance. What you MUST DO does not need guidance from thought ( which is always divisive and partial), but from a WILL that stands apart from thought. This ‘will’ in religion is referred to as ‘HIS WILL’ . In simple spiritual terms, it is nothing more than an operating faith in consciousness itself.
Consciousness can only be reflected in thought, not ordered by it. Thought on the other hand, needs to be a perpetual student of Consciousness- for ever at its feet. Thought when correctly understood to be the disciple and not the Guru, or the servant and not the master- doesn’t rush to take control of the situation, but knowing very well it’s limited capacity and role- surrenders itself to ‘Thy Will’.
Ask yourself: Does your knowledge- your consolidated body of thought- save you from pain, from erring and sinning, time and again?
No.
Then what is it’s use? Why do we continue to believe in it? Why despite all our knowing, we really cannot choose all our experiences?
Perhaps the time has come to make a transition- from being tormented Gods who suffer endlessly in our self-created worlds- to becoming INSTRUMENTS OF AWARENESS. We’re living a dream- a terrible dream- that in the end always makes a mockery of us. The biggest and the most tragic mistake we make is in thinking we’re separate individuals with separate destinies and that we must – now that we have made ourselves God- rightfully claim our share of the world. Our innocence is deceived into believing the knowledge we have unwittingly ‘accumulated’. And ‘belief’ on its part- true to its nature- cements our illusions to create walls that stand between us and reality.
Things external to us seem more ‘real’ than our tender voices within. Conflict becomes our state of mind. We seek knowledge of reality through information. And yet we never truly ‘know.’
Can a mind crammed with information ever know wisdom? Wisdom is not in the world, in the temporal or changing; wisdom is eternal. You can find it in yourself when you trust life completely. A mind that seeks information to ‘control’ action can never know wisdom. A mind devoted to the Higher, and not enmeshed in the lower- is the way to access Wisdom and move in eternal freedom.
Experience versus knowledge
” Where is my heart, mamma… Here right?” asked my five year old daughter, Kiara, placing her hand correctly over her beating heart.
“Yes,” I replied.
I had just successfully parallel-parked the car outside the garden that she and her friend had so persistently pleaded I take them to. So here we were…in about a span of ten minutes; starting from their fervent pleas that I take them to the park, to discussing…well…the heart.
“You know,” her eight year old friend added, “Our hearts beat even while we sleep!”
“That’s right!” I affirmed.
“Why do we have a heart, mamma?”asked Kiara.
I decided to offer her a spiritual explanation, so that the word could become a more potent conceptual unit for her: “The heart loves… When you feel love towards someone, you feel it from your heart.”
I further added: “But to feel love from your heart, your thoughts must be silent…” Gesturing with my hand, I explained: “The heart loves to hear, and it can hear another only when your thoughts stop talking!”
Kiara who had been listening intently, then made an unusual request: “Mamma, can we sit here only, where we are, for just five minutes?” The jumping monkeys of her mind- who had till now been refusing to relent till they reached the garden- had disappeared. Her friend and I, looked at her, then at each other, smiled and then the three of us sealed each other’s hands as if in a pact.
“Okay!” she said after a minute or so, “let’s go!”
Curious, I asked her what made her make such an extraordinary request.
“I don’t know,” she said… ” My heart told me to just be there…”
My daughter, I realised, had just received her first lesson on the value of experiencing.
Words
Words
You make me feel big
Smart
Wise
Above it all.
But while you take wings and fly
I rest.
Watching you in silence
In wonder
Becoming you in anxiety
Believing your lies
And making them my truth.
You speak by yourself
And to yourself
But words
My words…
Although secretly I have seen you as rich
And I as poor
Today I see your poverty
And my immensity
It was after all
In my barren womb of nothingness
That your meanings were born.
