These are my conversations with silence. These are my encounters with beauty and wonder. These are my invocations of the highest in the human condition. These are my commentaries on living. This is the poetry in the prose of my everyday. These are the sacred offshoots of the mundane. Flashes of inspiration that occur in the here and the now… And underlying all of this is a quest for wisdom beyond the known.
Success Is Eternal, Infinite and Internal.
“For him in vain the envious seasons roll, who bears eternal summer in his soul”
-Oliver W Holmes.
Human failings are common. One sees them everywhere. They are easy to spot and identify. What we don’t see easily or fail to recognize, is failure garbed as success. We don’t readily know how to identify a successful human being. But above all, our greatest tragedy is that we can’t tell for ourselves our success from our failure.
What does it mean to be a successful human being? For too long now, the yardsticks used to measure or gauge success have broadly been wealth, power and fame. Trapped within these stereotypes of success our institutions, our organisations and all modern societies in general, unwittingly direct our young to this hell of success; where unknown to many, a heaven exists. Everyone is busy chasing wealth, recognition and power, in the belief that it is in the adding up of these factors, that they shall ‘experience’ success. With such a myopic vision, we’re unable to see a reality beyond these trappings. In fact these trappings give us security and a false sense of accomplishment. But if success is meant to make you immune to life’s uncertainties, why then do these ‘accomplishments’ fail us, when the tides of time change?
Very often it happens, that life which was running like a steady stream, indulging your whims and fancies suddenly one day, took you by surprise! It acted up! Circumstances that had till now seemed inert, insignificant and within your control, have now usurped control and power from you. You lie there fallen and tossed about, having been clueless about what was coming. There was no warning, nothing that your senses could perceive… And just like that, the ground was pulled from under your feet.
How does one understand such a drastic change of circumstances? How does one make sense of things that are spiralling out of one’s control? How does one rise above surface descriptions of these circumstances?
When circumstances are in disarray from our sense of control, we immediately ‘know’ that we need to examine what’s happening to learn a valuable lesson from it all. To examine with stillness and purpose, the confounding, the senseless and the indescribable REQUIRES A HUGE LEAP OF FAITH. It is a faith that tells you that you can come to know and understand, that which baffles you now.
Reflecting upon this, is in itself, the summoning up of deep knowledge, knowledge that lies buried under a heap of false ideas. In mining this knowledge, we enter into undiscovered spaces of quietude within our beings. We learn that we’ve been working for things which we already possess in infinite measure. We seek four walls, recognition and wealth from an ever-changing world and that time can take away from us at any time, unaware that we actually live in a space of infinite possibilities within. The loss of cherished ideas and things and positions, should not be mourned for too long. One must strive to recognize that what you lost, was false anyway. Success, then must lie in something we can never lose.
Success is not a summation or an arrival. Success does not lie in what you’ve accumulated for yourself. True success is TRANSCENDENCE. When we transcend our limited self, when we consciously grow in spirit, when we make a conscious departure from our ignorance and enter into a higher awareness; and when we are able to live life in freedom and grace, unaffected by changing circumstances, bearing- as Oliver W Holmes writes- ‘an eternal summer in our souls’, we are in the truest sense successful human beings.
Losing what you accumulated is not failure. But mourning that loss, instead of celebrating it, is! Celebrating the loss of things acquired from the world is akin to a man losing his crutches and discovering that he can WALK after all! Stay alert to make that discovery! Look forward to it!
Ride on faith. Move up and discover new heights of consciousness where your happiness and success are no longer subject to what you gain or acquire, but rather exist in the freedom that lies in leaving things behind.
And Life Will Go On…
I had lived this moment
in my mind
many times-
over and over again.
I had heard you speak
(in my imagination)
words that pierced
through my heart.
And then…
there was stillness
Did I die?
Would I die?
How would I go on?
And yet today,
when what I had imagined
has followed its script
And come into being…
I find myself standing…
breathing…
I swallow it in.
I hear you
But I’m not dead
And I know that I will not die
because of what you’ve said.
I’ll live through it.
Life will prevail
over my limited imagination.
Krishna Consciousness and the Art of Upliftment
There exists in human beings the unique capacity to conceptualize an ideal. But as readily as that comes to you in a state of inspiration or ‘darshan’- where you instantly glimpse the truth; rising up to that ideal is often a challenging, trying journey. It’s almost as if numerous forces line themselves up to frustrate and defeat your noble efforts. Why should it be like that? Why do we inevitably find ourselves in a battle with circumstances, to simply reach that, which we have been made to see or understand? Why is it not so that upon understanding, I be instantly lifted from my ignorance to enlightenment? Why must I have to wage a war against so many demons to attain that glimpse of Reality that has been made cognizable to my understanding? What are these obstacles that stand in my way?
Following the path of your understanding till you reach that ideal is your ‘Dharma’. Making a pilgrimage from the baser occupations of your life to your highest calling is your individual ‘Svadharma’. Now, having intended to follow my ‘svadharma’ why should I face so many obstacles to get there? Why should these obstacles exist? Who has put them before me?
The obstacles I face, are nothing but the hardened accumulation of my own past sins or indiscretions; the unconscious habits that have formed my character. And my character, in turn, has carved out my destiny. This destiny manifests itself in the circumstances I face today. The enemies we face on the outside were at first born within: and then nurtured and armed to destroy the very self who gave them life. But how did this happen? How did I unwittingly give rise to my own nemesis? How do I cultivate an objective view of this nemesis so as to conquer it?
The thoughts we entertain in our minds are the harbingers of the circumstances we will awake to. Thoughts that run askew and are unaligned with reality, drawn in different directions by desire, greed, insecurity, anger, fear, attachments and pride- are off the mark and are, what we identify as ‘sins’. Typically, sins agitate the mind and strip it off its repose and dignity. The way to know or see that your actions have been sinful, is to reflect upon one’s own state of mind- Are you happy, cheerful, optimistic, looking forward, or are you miserable, angry, pessimistic and hateful? Happiness in any condition- that is a state of being at peace with any circumstance is in itself, an indication of a mind attuned to a Higher Reality. On the other hand, being agitated at the slightest provocation, being thrown into despair, being fearful and angry, or constantly plotting to change circumstances so that they favour you- indicates a disarrayed mind. Such a mind lacks an ideal or a Godhead towards which thoughts ought to be directed. The first step to conquering an enemy is identifying it, then understanding it, and ultimately commanding it!
Immediately install at the dark altar of your ignorance an ideal or a Godhead. Daily, light a small lamp of knowledge to dispel false ideas and glimpse on a daily basis your ideal. Let you intellect keep a watch over all layers of your personality. Let them be ordered and integrated by the sane counsel of your intellect; and let your intellect in turn, fix its attention on that ideal/ Godhead. Your thoughts must be kept under a tight watch. They must be conscious and dedicated to your ideal. Your thoughts must revolve around your ideal- like the gopis immersed in their love for Krishna dance in a spirit of surrender and devotion around Him.
Rising In Love
That we feel love- is a unanimous fact.
But how it prompts us to act and react seems to be individually determined. My state of mind determines whether I perceive love as a need, as an attachment or as pleasurable affection.
Does everything good, pleasing and gratifying indicate the presence of love and all that is painful, difficult and demanding- its absence? Why do we forge relationships out of love’s will and end them on ours? And then, why is every love story- with fiery, passionate beginnings- fated for an eventual separation, either physically or emotionally? Does a long-standing relationship indicate love’s blessing and a short-lived one its curse? And when our ‘affairs’ end, what changes mark our new beginnings? These questions that we frequently ask, indicate a need to assess our understanding of what love is and to stand enlightened about its place in our relationships.
How disintegrated and complex is the adult human heart! And in true inverse proportion how simple and effortless are the ways of children! Why is it so easy to love a child and so difficult to love an adult?
Children make no ‘conditions’ by which they shall ‘trade’ love. They don’t set out to make its laws; neither do they contemplate them; they simply follow them. And one of the most fundamental laws of love is ALIGNMENT. Children simply align themselves with their parents or environment in an unconscious bid to grow and be nourished. Adults, on the other hand, have developed a mind and the mind as such, is characterized by memories, ideas, needs, desires and attachments. Adults NEED love for other reasons-primarily for SELF-FULFILMENT. As we grow, so does our sense of lack. As adults we have unwittingly programmed ourselves to act to fulfil our ‘needs’. We’ve never really taken the time to discover our fullness. We enter into relationships to fulfil our needs, not realizing that the person we seek fulfilment from, is himself/ herself seeking fulfilment. How can someone who himself feels denied or deprived fulfil the needs of another?
To love another adult requires a constant examination and purification of one’s emotions. As adults, we feel loved when we are understood, respected, trusted, attended to, wanted and desired. Yet, if each is focussed on his/ her own demands to be met, the relationship can only end in tragedy. However, love- if we allow it to have its way- will eventually re-acquaint and align us with our own hearts.
Love’s fulfillment lies in two becoming one whole and then eventually, one whole realizing that it always was, is and will always be- All. For the individual, that love is true that fulfils the needs- not of the ego, but of the soul. Love, in the adult human mind, begins as a furtherance, an extending out of your self; and is experienced as a fuller presence. In wanting to repeat and recall the experience of that fuller presence, we embark on a journey that is more often than not, marked with rejections, trials and antagonisms. In and through those experiences, through every changing emotion, through every triumph of the spirit, we stand re-acquainted and fully aware of our essence. Love extracts out of you your full worth.
Which is why, sometimes even after a relationship has ended, your new beginning is marked- not with a sense of loss, but with a sense of gain. You sense a growth, re-discover your self-esteem, develop greater self-reliance, become more responsible, realize your faith and cultivate the ability to endure, tolerate and be patient. You plumb your depths and find within you unbelievable strength and courage. Love’s path is an upward path. Falling in love is a weakness of the human heart and rising in it- its strength. Love begins as affection and is fulfilled with realization of the Self. When you discover and realize within you- self-confidence, courage, faith, independence, tolerance and patience- then only do you gain a full awareness of love within you. Love then, ceases to be a thirst and becomes the fountainhead of every action that flows out of you. The difference between falling-in-love and rising-in-it is that in the first condition, it begins as a ‘need to receive’ and in the second- as a ‘need to give’. Simply put, love must GROW. It must transform from being needy to now being abundant.
An Intense Desire To Know.
Who indeed is interested
in my excellence
but me!
So powerful is my desire
to know
to be certain
to have affirmed
my glory…
That it divides me into two-
the fool and the sage
the criminal and the judge
the sinner and the saint
the wrong and the right
the actor and the thinker
the ignorant and the enlightened
the world and I.
how must I get to know that which I am ignorant of?
how must I reclaim that which I have severed from my self, so that I understand?
this knowledge I suspect
cannot be taught.
I must await its dawn
I must reach out in faith
I must curate my experiences with love.
All other affections are mean and misleading.
After all,
the world and its opposites exist
just so that I know who I really am-
An Intense Desire To Know.
Wisdom is thought freed.
Why do we do things that are ‘useless’ or ‘futile’ ? – Because we must… ‘Must’ – not in the sense of doing one’s duty or even as an act of blind faith in a higher purpose- but because whether we realize it or not, we are the’instruments’ through which action is done. Because we believe we are the doers of action, and we must act to protect and secure ourselves in an uncertain world- we believe that we can order our will. But ‘Will’-which is our unique human attribute- is not our instrument, it is our master.
The problem is that more often than not, that ‘Will’ is plugged into our sense of need or deficiency- unaware as it is of its sovereignty and abundance. What you MUST DO does not need guidance from thought ( which is always divisive and partial), but from a WILL that stands apart from thought. This ‘will’ in religion is referred to as ‘HIS WILL’ . In simple spiritual terms, it is nothing more than an operating faith in consciousness itself.
Consciousness can only be reflected in thought, not ordered by it. Thought on the other hand, needs to be a perpetual student of Consciousness- for ever at its feet. Thought when correctly understood to be the disciple and not the Guru, or the servant and not the master- doesn’t rush to take control of the situation, but knowing very well it’s limited capacity and role- surrenders itself to ‘Thy Will’.
Ask yourself: Does your knowledge- your consolidated body of thought- save you from pain, from erring and sinning, time and again?
No.
Then what is it’s use? Why do we continue to believe in it? Why despite all our knowing, we really cannot choose all our experiences?
Perhaps the time has come to make a transition- from being tormented Gods who suffer endlessly in our self-created worlds- to becoming INSTRUMENTS OF AWARENESS. We’re living a dream- a terrible dream- that in the end always makes a mockery of us. The biggest and the most tragic mistake we make is in thinking we’re separate individuals with separate destinies and that we must – now that we have made ourselves God- rightfully claim our share of the world. Our innocence is deceived into believing the knowledge we have unwittingly ‘accumulated’. And ‘belief’ on its part- true to its nature- cements our illusions to create walls that stand between us and reality.
Things external to us seem more ‘real’ than our tender voices within. Conflict becomes our state of mind. We seek knowledge of reality through information. And yet we never truly ‘know.’
Can a mind crammed with information ever know wisdom? Wisdom is not in the world, in the temporal or changing; wisdom is eternal. You can find it in yourself when you trust life completely. A mind that seeks information to ‘control’ action can never know wisdom. A mind devoted to the Higher, and not enmeshed in the lower- is the way to access Wisdom and move in eternal freedom.
Wit. Wisdom. Wonder... 