Posted on by solangesuri2015

Lost and Found

We are all in a sense blind

Without insight.

Understanding doesn’t follow the rhythm

Of day and night

And its own dawn comes after

Many troubled nights.

I walk on the earth

A soul tormented

By thoughts that are the machinations

Of an untruthful mind.

I know that I need saving

But don’t know who else can save me

But me…

This is the first time

I stand face to no-face

Challenging myself

To speak my truth

Or remain forever silent.

This is the first time

I wish to see myself defeated

By a higher truth.

For in that I know

Lies my return to a place that

I’m trying to create for myself

In an imaginary world.

My hands join in prayer

And a tear rolls down my cheek

Today I pray for silence

So that I may rest

And so that no thought

Can come in between me and myself.

Posted on by solangesuri2015

Unpacking

It’s not about you

There is no ‘you’

There are only circumstances

So that desires may act

And through action

Be liberated from binding thought

 

But who do these desires belong to?

…They belong to me

‘Me’ is only a thought

A rather persistent one

It’s actually a misnomer…

There is no ‘me;’ but there is ‘am-ness.’

 

Sound, space and light

In their tireless play create

A world of forms, words and meanings

And become the experiences

That ‘am-ness’

Describes as ‘mine’

 

In repeatedly describing experiences as ‘mine’

It condenses into an identity

A limited being

Perpetually longing

For an abundance

That pretentious language has hidden away.

 

You and I

Can trace our ancestry to thought

The remnants of an inaccurate language

That didn’t have the words

To describe

The indescribable.

 

 

 

Posted on by solangesuri2015

The Elite

I live in a mental asylum

With shadows for company

So powerful are my shadow-friends

That they’ve erected the walls

Of my asylum

For their existence

 

In its confinement

I yearn for friendship and company

Even if it is of the Unreal

The shadows beckon me to listen

Their amorphous forms speak in booming voices

That echo and resonate.

 

Their thoughts agree with my thoughts

That’s why we are friends…

We jog together in 10000-word dissertations

Or tickle each other with 140-character tweets

And I feel accomplished

That I now have friends in high places…

 

I now speak their slang

And their concerns

Are my concerns

Their outrage is my outrage

Happiness lies in the camaraderie

Between one bubble and another.

 

When you burst my bubble

I stand vacant

Alone in my madness…

And with this painful awareness

That I can’t see, or hear, or feel anyone

Outside of the thick walls

Of my mental asylum.

 

I have been shut in

To be protected from any contact with the breathing…

My walls are thick, impenetrable and safe

My shadow-friends erected them so that they could play

And oh yes, my walls have names

Please meet: Ideology. Fear. Pain. Self-loathing.

Posted on by solangesuri2015

Desire’s Destiny

Within me

So many have lived

and scripted my story

 

Some have stayed

for decades

for years

 

Pined

 

Agonized

 

Washed away

by floods of tears.

 

Some come visiting

a month, a week

and leave soon after

they find their seek

 

Coveted guests

who appear

for a minute or two

Rejuvenate

Refresh and

Renew.

 

A residue of wisdom

on ways to cope

They leave behind

magical wings of hope.

 

My nothingness defined

by their very being

They’ve challenged what I know

of my seeing.

 

They’ve come to me

inhabited my space

They’ve shown their artistry

their canvas- my face.

 

Desires in search

for room, for chest

They’ve come to me

to manifest.

 

It’s in rare moments like these

I stand face to face

Watching in silence

 

My nothingness

 

My space.

 

I know now

I can clearly see

My space is nothing

But desire’s destiny.

 

 

Posted on by solangesuri2015

A Room Full of Ghosts

I sit alone in a room full of ghosts

Each one of them claims to know me the most

I know not who I may be

As each one of them screams their image of me

So shy! So bold!

So hot! So cold!

You’ve got it all right! You’ve got it all wrong!

Pathetically weak! Incredibly strong!

 

I sit in silence

Absorbing the noises

Till a momentous insight

Reveals them as choices

Choices I made a long time ago

I chose to let them stay

I never let go

Just as I made them then

I can make them now

So I get up and leave this room full of ghosts

How dare they claim to know me the most!

Posted on by solangesuri2015

Over Time

Over Time

Will you care

To feel

Even for a moment

All that I have felt?

 

Over time

Will you be curious

Wanting to know

What fashioned

My mind, my space, my thoughts?

 

Over time

Will it matter

To you

What words composed

My concerns, my beliefs, my angst?

 

Over time

Will you be interested

In knowing

What seduced me to live my life

My way?

 

Over time

Will you see

Non- judgmentally

My reasons

For war, for strife, for dying?

 

Over time

Will you be accepting

Of my ideas, my visions, my dreams

And more importantly

Will you be living them?

 

Over time

Will you understand

My motivations

For leaving behind a legacy

Different ( a little better)

From the one left behind for me?

Posted on by solangesuri2015

It’s In The Getting to know

Yes…

I would’ve liked better teacups

But here you are

Nevertheless

Forsaken or gifted

Standing before me every morning

 

And so…

Despite a petulant will

Everyday I grow to love you

And everyday

I get acquainted

With your unexpected beauty

 

Love and Beauty

You’ve taught me

Are not mere affections

 

They are the gifts of our attention

Joys that we receive

Not in our hours of need or merit

But in the generosity of our receptiveness

 

They’re never destinations

But journeys of long, slow acquaintance

Of discovering

And getting to know.

Posted on by solangesuri2015

The Destiny of Thought

Another day in the life of thought

Sieving

Separating

What is

What is not

And as thought thinks

That INTELLIGENCE must have a form, a purpose, a design

Its own purpose

Is to structure my mind

Thought knows not what it can’t apprehend

It understands the finite

And not things that have no end

Discontent with accepting things just as they are

It looks over the near, in search of the far

And so as thought must

So thought does

Structuring my life with lofty bricks of beliefs and values

It fates its own end

By empowering my acumen to choose

And finally

When all that is something

Will eventually wither away

Infinite INTELLIGENCE will come my way.

Posted on by solangesuri2015

A Person of Few Words

Screaming silences

The thoughts in my mind

I can feel their angst

But words are hard to find

 

I struggle with words

They forever evade me

Messiahs of my thoughts

They forever fail me

 

Them thoughts pound my head

Demanding release

“We need to be said

Let us out, please!”

 

Their expression, their release

Is my reason to be

For if not my thoughts

What is my legacy?

 

So don’t dismiss me in a hurry

As someone with little to say

It’s a matter of time

Before my thoughts have their day

 

For now they stay imprisoned

A lack of choice

Locked in my mind

For want of a voice

 

That’s all they need

Just the wealth of words

But till they are freed

I am as you know me

 

A person of few words.