Antecedence

As in the silence of a prayer

I sit facing a blank page

White. Clean.

Spotless. Silent.

It’s only now

When a thought enters my mind

That ink inscribes

These words on this page

And now that I understand

That what was

In the absence of thought

The presence of absolutely nothing

I wonder

What thought was that

That carved before me

The relief of your face and features

And placed at distances

Near and far

Spaces that I visit

And spaces that await me

What thought was it

That placed me

Just here, just now

In silent communion with an empty page.

Just Another Day

What happened last night?

We made an uncomfortable threesome

You, me and Fear

I’m not even sure of the name…

Was it Fear?

Or Desire?

Anger?

Or Bruised Ego?

Does it even matter?

Maybe all that matters

Was the uninvited

Uncalled for

Presence of a third

I couldn’t reach out to you

And you wouldn’t reach out to me

My helplessness dissolved into the oceans of my heart

That welled up and drowned most of my mindscape

I feel almost nothing now

Nothing…

Not helplessness

Not fear

Not anger

Not resentment

I feel naked

But am at peace with my nakedness

I feel hollow and light

Dead, unburdened and strangely alive

Which was how

Today amidst doing my daily chores

I who had died

Buried the dead.

Irony

Between indulgence and longing

Existence stands by your side

Looking at you in silent askance…

You- in stray moments- steal a glimpse

But she bewilders you

With her steady poise and calm

She’s not a temptress

Knows not how to seduce

And offers you no promise other than herself

And even as you continue to swing between

New infatuations and old remembrances

She (despite sensible reason) faithfully abides by you

And occasionally you wonder: Is it even possible…

That there actually be so exquisite a state

Untainted as it were, by memory, interaction and loss?

Indeed in and through your affairs with life

Existence patiently awaits your homecoming

Yet unveiled, like a new bride

Eyes lowered, your chosen consort

Sits unloved, unheard and unseen

As you drunkenly sing songs of heartbreak and longing.

Home

image These are my conversations with silence. These are my encounters with beauty and wonder. These are my invocations of the highest in the human condition. These are my commentaries on living. This is the poetry in the prose of my everyday. These are the sacred offshoots of the mundane. Flashes of inspiration that occur in the here and the now… And underlying all of this is a quest for wisdom beyond the known.

Words

Words

You make me feel big

Smart

Wise

Above it all.

But while you take wings and fly

I rest.

Watching you in silence

In wonder

Becoming you in anxiety

Believing your lies

And making them my truth.

You speak by yourself

And to yourself

But words

My words…

Although secretly I have seen you as rich

And I as poor

Today I see your poverty

And my immensity

It was after all

In my barren womb of nothingness

That your meanings were born.