To possess requires so much effort
To enjoy all that there is-
none.
To become rich requires so much effort
To be enriched-
none.
To solve a problem requires so much effort
To watch its passing-
None.
To possess requires so much effort
To enjoy all that there is-
none.
To become rich requires so much effort
To be enriched-
none.
To solve a problem requires so much effort
To watch its passing-
None.
You asked me why I ask
So many questions
When the answers are so few
What purpose could it serve
Asking so many questions
And will new answers
Stop me from asking
The same old questions?!?!
Why can’t I accept
The answers already given (or perhaps hidden)
For centuries…for eons…since eternity…
Aren’t willful ignorance
and elusive enlightenment
riding on the same adventure?
I don’t know…
I guess I find no silence, no repose
In the posers
you call answers
For the same twisted reason
You get so disturbed, so diverted
By the posers
that are my questions.
So there we are
All gesture paused
By an exasperated silence
Thought defeated, we now just are…
Sitting vis-à-vis
Sailing together, I realize,
In the same clichéd boat
To a destination known only to silent destiny.
A waking blue sky
An invocation to ancient gods on the radio
The trees sway to a soft and gentle breeze outside
And my baby sleeps
Her head nestled and caressed
in the nook between my neck and shoulder
She strings for me this precious chain of moments
With her soft and gentle breath…
In an embrace of re-assuring silence
All of life so readily offers itself
And everything speaks
Softly…
Gently…
Eloquently…
Simply.
Pen, book and intention
A haiku seems like a good idea
I need to know even though I know
Is this temporary, fleeting?
How must I apprehend it
This totality in existence?
How do I classify it
For the sake of memory?
‘Contemplation?’
‘Boredom?’
‘Living out my purpose?’
‘Existence?’
‘Being?’
‘Becoming?’
‘….none of the above…?’
And now I know
Acceptance is active and creative
And now I am
Excited, happy, alive!
Free of all lofty intention…
I sat still in my car
Incapacitated by the traffic jam
Unable to inch forward
My eyes moved up…
I saw the metro crawl…
Above it, a plane flew past
In an open sky
My mind travelled
I visited a childhood memory…
And then a book shop in California…
And then to a time when Kiara would be vaguely older…
And then…
” Door na ja-o… Door na ja-o… (don’t go far away from me, don’t go far away from me…)”
My traveling mind was arrested by this voice crooning on my car stereo
I paused…
Cut short my mental journey through time
And listened out of a sense of obligation
(after all, I had turned on the car stereo to listen to music…)
I brought my mind back to where I was in the traffic jam
With the metro crawling above
And yet another airplane flying above in a vast open sky.
In that moment I knew
My mind was vaster
than the vast open sky.
How dear is my present to me!
Even as it stands imperfect
And flawed
I know it. It’s familiar.
I’m drawn to it because it so effortlessly
Becomes mine
My present is the culmination
Of the hours, days and years I’ve devoted to
Become me.
If I lose it, I will lose all the vanities
That I had with great complexity interwoven with
My being
I will stand a ridiculous lie unto myself!
My heart will weep not so much
For the loss of people, places, property
Or poetry
But for standing disrobed and diminished
Before all that I dressed up
And decorated.
The present is rich in the meanings of thoughts
Whose enslavement I have come
To enjoy.
Who am I without them?
WHERE am I without them? They’re all
I’ve known.
My tormentors have been my only love…
And even though I know
That life is a habitually
Late messiah
A sleeping savior in a dream state
I can see now that I’m nothing more than
Its dream.
Yes…
I would’ve liked better teacups
But here you are
Nevertheless
Forsaken or gifted
Standing before me every morning
And so…
Despite a petulant will
Everyday I grow to love you
And everyday
I get acquainted
With your unexpected beauty
Love and Beauty
You’ve taught me
Are not mere affections
They are the gifts of our attention
Joys that we receive
Not in our hours of need or merit
But in the generosity of our receptiveness
They’re never destinations
But journeys of long, slow acquaintance
Of discovering
And getting to know.
On June 19, 2010.
Last evening
While I waited
Still
In motionless traffic
I looked out of the window
And surveyed the scene…
Gushing water
That miraculously transformed
Into a raucous river
Where there was
Up until thirty minutes ago
A staid, grey asphalt road
(It even had a name
so established it was in identity and purpose)
The skies were gloomy…morbidly grim
And the rain poured
In an angry embittered attack
Like a hurl of abuses
And yet surprisingly
The people were smiling, laughing
Enjoying the stormy weather
Disturbingly and nervously out of rhythm
And I saw in that moment
A co-existence of law and exception
Of frenzied activity and unaffected stillness
Of pleasure and pain
Of gaiety and gravity
Of romance and indifference
Without principle
And without story
Contained and composed
On a single undivided canvas
Appearances begged my mind
For some explanation
For keen appreciation
For some semblance of balance and purpose
For coherence and cognition
In an agreeable reference to established truth
But Truth, I realized
Is not an establishment
Neither is it a destination
To which we must undertake a pilgrimage
It isn’t a charming euphemism
Nor is it a secret
That stays concealed within a cryptic code
And it isn’t a promise either
Awaiting fulfillment
In the distant unseen future
Truth is in the experience of NOW
It refuses to account for itself
Lest such account become next moment’s lie!
Truth by inherent virtue
Cannot and does not lie
And it does not care much for Reason or Rhyme
It is neither old nor new
It disappears as soon as it appears
It isn’t always staid and grey or
Named and established
In short,
It isn’t always a permanent asphalt road.
If only we knew… knew what we truly wanted… knew what was expected of us… knew our true potential… knew clearly- right from wrong… knew how to work, to love, to care, to respond, to express, to atone, to change… the list is endless!
But, why do we wish to know? Do we hope and perhaps, suppose that knowledge can arm us with the power to shape our experiences; that somehow we can take charge of our destinies and escape the effects of karma? Is there this hope within us that prior knowledge can help mitigate the experiences that life has in store for us?
And, does it? Does knowing about death; about the transient and phenomenal nature of existence save us from experiencing grief and sorrow and loss? Does knowing a priori the many challenges in a marital relationship save us from experiencing our own?
What then, can be an appropriate expectation from our knowledge? Is the purpose of man’s education to ‘know’ his world and thereby gain sovereignty over it? We wish that our learning be elegant, sophisticated, free of all embarrassing follies. Yet, probe a little, and you’ll see that it is only after fully experiencing that we truly learn. We get affected, addicted; we fall; we err; we summon up a dormant courage, we rise and we learn. Our education system supposes that if we started from the end we’d skip the pain and suffering and jump to a higher level of consciousness. So it says- learn, rise, summon up your courage and beware of falling… But then, aren’t we putting the proverbial cart before the horse?
What is true knowledge? When can you say you know something? How do you know? Can knowledge be borrowed or transferred? Does knowledge fulfill a purpose or is knowledge in itself, the purpose to be fulfilled?
We perceive a world external to us. It seems to have been there even before we were born and we believe it shall be there even after we go. Our instructions about this world begin very early on in our lives. We see, hear, smell, taste and touch and that knowledge is interpreted for us. We’re informed that that what we touch, see, hear and smell has a name; and not only will knowing those names do us good (in terms of social acceptance and survival), but also, we must know what the world before us has known about our experiences. We call this education.
But is such an education past its day? When man believed that the world manifest before him was a challenge he needed to surmount, an education at the level of gathering and disseminating information may have been relevant and enough. But has this information-oriented system of education become irrelevant today? Today, we’re aware that the world’s challenges- global warming, environmental molestation, terrorism, consumerism, corruption, violence, excessive legislation, power imbalances, wealth and resource depletion and of course, a token education begin and end with the biggest culprit- man himself. He alone is both the problem and its solution. Of all the problems we perceive at a macro level, the individual’s constitution is the microcosm. What seems like a huge monster-like challenge- standing outside of us- has in reality- proceeded from the darkness of the individual heart and mind. Where true knowledge is absent, imagination is most fertile and desire uncontrollable. Our imagining that our futures might be at stake pushes us to amass and hoard wealth. Our imagining that we may be deprived of love, affection and acceptance, makes pretense, lying and empty tokenism a way of life. Our imaginary fear that life is ruthless and difficult makes corrupting an easy lifestyle choice. We delude ourselves into believing that we know… but can you truly claim to know anything without knowing the fears and machinations of your own mind.
It is to dispel this darkness that man seeks knowledge. And we wish that the knowledge we receive be true and authentic and not the mere transference of another’s interpretation and fertile imagination. But how are we to know that we indeed, truly know?
We read. We speak. We exchange views and we find ourselves believing some things and discarding others. The external stimuli are available to all; yet the simple action of an apple falling from a tree prompts a Newton to discover the law of gravity, an artist to see in it a rich symbolism and an agriculturist- an opportunity for cultivation. It seems that we come to know what is in our essential nature to know. We can only know that which resonates and concurs with something already in existence within us. Look back and you shall see that the knowledge that truly mattered was not that which cloaked your ignorance, but was that which revealed to you your wisdom. Wisdom does not dwell in the height or breadth of our thinking, but lies in the depth of our understanding. And therefore, often, the most erudite teachings, that hold the answers to every possible question ever asked pass us by like an indifferent wind. Not everything touches us, speaks to us or inspires us. And when something does, we truly feel that it lends more power to our voice.
True knowledge therefore, may be discerned in correct self-expression. When you know something truly and authentically, it flows in and out of you as effortlessly as your breath. The quest for knowledge is fundamentally, a search for your own voice.
Knowledge and understanding cannot be given to us unless we have within us an equal knowledge and understanding to give.
It takes a moment
for ‘Forever’ to end.
The hours, the days
The months, the years
Can be swallowed in a moment.
The stories we are stringing together
The stories we are living
Can come undone
And scatter like pearls
that lose the thread they cling to
All in a moment.
The Moment is the Ministry of Justice
The Moment is the Sentinel of Truth
The Moment is the Breath of God.
It’s not easy to stand
So close to The Moment
Its power is immense
And so is its mercy.
It can take away your All
Leaving you with nothing more
Than yourself.
Cutting you down to its size
Reminding you
That yourself is all that you’ve got
And The Moment is all that you need.