Irony

Between indulgence and longing

Existence stands by your side

Looking at you in silent askance…

You- in stray moments- steal a glimpse

But she bewilders you

With her steady poise and calm

She’s not a temptress

Knows not how to seduce

And offers you no promise other than herself

And even as you continue to swing between

New infatuations and old remembrances

She (despite sensible reason) faithfully abides by you

And occasionally you wonder: Is it even possible…

That there actually be so exquisite a state

Untainted as it were, by memory, interaction and loss?

Indeed in and through your affairs with life

Existence patiently awaits your homecoming

Yet unveiled, like a new bride

Eyes lowered, your chosen consort

Sits unloved, unheard and unseen

As you drunkenly sing songs of heartbreak and longing.

Home

image These are my conversations with silence. These are my encounters with beauty and wonder. These are my invocations of the highest in the human condition. These are my commentaries on living. This is the poetry in the prose of my everyday. These are the sacred offshoots of the mundane. Flashes of inspiration that occur in the here and the now… And underlying all of this is a quest for wisdom beyond the known.

And Life Will Go On…

I had lived this moment

in my mind

many times-

over and over again.

I had heard you speak

(in my imagination)

words that pierced

through my heart.

And then…

there was stillness

Did I die?

Would I die?

How would I go on?

And yet today,

when what I had imagined

has followed its script

And come into being…

I find myself standing…

breathing…

I swallow it in.

I hear you

But I’m not dead

And I know that I will not die

because of what you’ve said.

I’ll live through it.

Life will prevail

over my limited imagination.

Krishna Consciousness and the Art of Upliftment

There exists in human beings the unique capacity to conceptualize an ideal. But as readily as that comes to you in a state of inspiration or ‘darshan’- where you instantly glimpse the truth; rising up to that ideal is often a challenging, trying journey. It’s almost as if numerous forces line themselves up to frustrate and defeat your noble efforts. Why should it be like that? Why do we inevitably find ourselves in a battle with circumstances, to simply reach that, which we have been made to see or understand? Why is it not so that upon understanding, I be instantly lifted from my ignorance to enlightenment?  Why must I have to wage a war against so many demons to attain that glimpse of Reality that has been made cognizable to my understanding? What are these obstacles that stand in my way?

Following the path of your understanding till you reach that ideal is your ‘Dharma’. Making a pilgrimage from the baser occupations of your life to your highest calling is your individual ‘Svadharma’. Now, having intended to follow my ‘svadharma’ why should I face so many obstacles to get there? Why should these obstacles exist? Who has put them before me?

The obstacles I face, are nothing but the hardened accumulation of my own past sins or indiscretions; the unconscious habits that have formed my character. And my character, in turn, has carved out my destiny. This destiny manifests itself in the circumstances I face today. The enemies we face on the outside were at first born within: and then nurtured and armed to destroy the very self who gave them life. But how did this happen? How did I unwittingly give rise to my own nemesis? How do I cultivate an objective view of this nemesis so as to conquer it?

The thoughts we entertain in our minds are the harbingers of the circumstances we will awake to. Thoughts that run askew and are unaligned with reality, drawn in different directions by desire, greed, insecurity, anger, fear, attachments and pride- are off the mark and are, what we identify as ‘sins’. Typically, sins agitate the mind and strip it off its repose and dignity. The way to know or see that your actions have been sinful, is to reflect upon one’s own state of mind- Are you happy, cheerful, optimistic, looking forward, or are you miserable, angry, pessimistic and hateful? Happiness in any condition- that is a state of being at peace with any circumstance is in itself, an indication of a mind attuned to a Higher Reality. On the other hand, being agitated at the slightest provocation, being thrown into despair, being fearful and angry, or constantly plotting to change circumstances so that they favour you- indicates a disarrayed mind. Such a mind lacks an ideal or a Godhead towards which thoughts ought to be directed. The first step to conquering an enemy is identifying it, then understanding it, and ultimately commanding it!

Raas Leela

Immediately install at the dark altar of your ignorance an ideal or a Godhead. Daily, light a small lamp of knowledge to dispel false ideas and glimpse on a daily basis your ideal. Let you intellect keep a watch over all layers of your personality. Let them be ordered and integrated by the sane counsel of your intellect; and let your intellect in turn, fix its attention on that ideal/ Godhead. Your thoughts must be kept under a tight watch. They must be conscious and dedicated to your ideal. Your thoughts must revolve around your ideal- like the gopis immersed in their love for Krishna dance in a spirit of surrender and devotion around Him.

Wisdom is thought freed.

Why do we do things that are ‘useless’ or ‘futile’ ? – Because we must… ‘Must’ – not in the sense of doing one’s duty or even as an act of blind faith in a higher purpose- but because whether we realize it or not, we are the’instruments’ through which action is done. Because we believe we are the doers of action, and we must act to protect and secure ourselves in an uncertain world- we believe that we can order our will. But ‘Will’-which is our unique human attribute- is not our instrument, it is our master.

The problem is that more often than not, that ‘Will’ is plugged into our sense of need or deficiency- unaware as it is of its sovereignty and abundance. What you MUST DO does not need guidance from thought ( which is always divisive and partial), but from a WILL that stands apart from thought. This ‘will’ in religion is referred to as ‘HIS WILL’ . In simple spiritual terms, it is nothing more than an operating faith in consciousness itself.

Consciousness can only be reflected in thought, not ordered by it. Thought on the other hand, needs to be a perpetual student of  Consciousness- for ever at its feet. Thought when correctly understood to be the disciple and not the Guru, or the servant and not the master- doesn’t rush to take control of the situation, but knowing very well it’s limited capacity and role- surrenders itself to ‘Thy Will’.

Ask yourself: Does your knowledge- your consolidated body of thought- save you from pain, from erring and sinning, time and again?

No.

Then what is it’s use? Why do we continue to believe in it? Why despite all our knowing, we really cannot choose all our experiences?

Perhaps the time has come to make a transition- from being tormented Gods who suffer endlessly in our self-created worlds- to becoming INSTRUMENTS OF AWARENESS. We’re living a dream- a terrible dream- that in the end always makes a mockery of us. The biggest and the most tragic mistake we make is in thinking we’re separate individuals with separate destinies and that we must – now that we have made ourselves God- rightfully claim our share of the world. Our innocence is deceived into believing the knowledge we have unwittingly ‘accumulated’. And ‘belief’ on its part- true to its nature- cements our illusions to create walls that stand between us and reality.

Things external to us seem more ‘real’ than our tender voices within. Conflict becomes our state of mind. We seek knowledge of reality through information. And yet we never truly ‘know.’

Can a mind crammed with information ever know wisdom? Wisdom is not in the world, in the temporal or changing; wisdom is eternal. You can find it in yourself when you trust life completely. A mind that seeks information to ‘control’ action can never know wisdom. A mind devoted to the Higher, and not enmeshed in the lower- is the way to access Wisdom and move in eternal freedom.

Words

Words

You make me feel big

Smart

Wise

Above it all.

But while you take wings and fly

I rest.

Watching you in silence

In wonder

Becoming you in anxiety

Believing your lies

And making them my truth.

You speak by yourself

And to yourself

But words

My words…

Although secretly I have seen you as rich

And I as poor

Today I see your poverty

And my immensity

It was after all

In my barren womb of nothingness

That your meanings were born.