How do we reconcile
The dichotomies of our lives?
–Faith and cynicism
–Hope and despair
–Love and disgust
–Pure being and conditioned thinking…
Doomed as we are
To be vulgar in choosing…
Irrespective
Of what choices we make.
…Or should we just live in limbo?
Eternally unfulfilled…
Except in the art we create
The stories we tell
The poetry we write
And the philosophies we propose.
That which allows
For both, ecstasy and sorrow
With a steady breath…
That which upholds dignity
And yet endures disgrace
Without bemoaning the loss of face
And without the haste to change…
That which has known both-
Deep affection and bitter estrangement
And knows that both
Are light and shadow
Co-existing in love’s eternal light.
“That” is not an imposition of will
It’s not an austerity
Nor a firm resolve…
“That” is an all-encompassing
All embracing
Grace.
What you return to is home.
It’s not just the familiarity
Of things and routines…
It is their specific melody.
It’s not just the people
Who fill it with warmth and cheer,
It’s the belongingness
Within relationships.
Home is where you feel most at rest.
A home is made
Little by little,
Moment by moment,
Prayer by prayer…
With silent resolve
But more than that,
With faith–
That our home is our temple…
It’s where our devotion lives.
In the interstices
Of our daily activities
Exists silence.
A just-is-ness
A pause. An emptiness
That is not an end or a limitation
But a dissolution
Of senseless activity…
A soft, but firm reminder
That freedom, potentiality and truth
Lie within the weave
Of thought and action
But are not bound by them.
Fashioning (ourselves)
Is a spiritual action
That understands
The value and potential
Of the states of nothing-ness,
Just-is-ness, being-ness…
And the role they play
In our becoming.
You’re out of sync…
In disharmony with life
When you begin
To see it as ‘yours’.
Your expectations grow
Ambition takes over
Your hopes and prayers
Get oriented towards control…
Life and its circumstances
Must favour you.
Accomplishment becomes your purpose
Love becomes an acquisition
You feel entitled to privilege
And wealth becomes the hub
Around which these revolve.
That which is abundant-
Life- forever giving
Becomes something you perversely
Try to steal for yourself.
When you fail to see the truth
You cling to law, ethics and codes of conduct.
Your education too
Gets appropriated.
It becomes subservient to mediocrity
It remains satisfied in meeting
Systemic objectives.
You graduate in degrees of ignorance
Forever in pursuit
Of the illusory.
Racing through your days
To the finish line.
But then comes a dawn
When accomplishment feels like failure
All acquisitions become soul-destroying
You’re unceremoniously stripped off
Your sense of entitlement.
The notions around which
Your life was anchored
Get swept away
By the currents of time.
Nothing lasts…
Except life.
The tragedy is not death
The tragedy is life not understood.
What happens
When the heart breaks
Repeatedly?
How does one continue to feel?
When feeling is risky…
So painful…
Pain is an indication
Of unresolved grief
When there has been no
Acknowledgement of hurt caused
No apology. No gesture. No words…
That rushed in to soothe the pain
Pretence, resolution…
Explaining the other’s motives
In a sort of quasi goodness–
Are the defences used
To shield oneself
From the pain.
In inhibiting the pain
One also inhibits feeling
A collateral damage…
Life now is understood as a function.
That must be carried out.
Its difficulties endured.
Feelings get used strategically
At anniversaries, birthday parties, on Instagram.
But emotions are kept at bay.
Keep the heart functioning optimally.
Work on its efficiency.
Keep the pace on the treadmill.
Rain falls to the earth
Soils settle…some shift
Changes are occurring.
Rain falls to the earth
Soils settle…some shift
I need a strong foothold.
Rain falls to the earth
Soils settle…some shift
I must now sense my path
What mistakes am I making?
What mistakes have I made?
Is regret even a reasonable emotion?
…When you know that you’re on a journey
If you didn’t take a path
That you could have
Does it matter?
Destinations are just stops
…Milestones that you arrive to
And then move on.
They’re not permanent
…You’re not permanent
Concern is just a desire for permanency.
Let go of the need
To predetermine outcomes
Make better judgments
After you have made the bad ones.
Live life
The way it’s intended to be lived.
The pain of an ending
Is never so much
As when you know it.
And yet the sobs are silent
Muffled as they are
By the gags of normalcy.
Decency ensures
That the lines on your face
Are drawn into a smile…
That pretends to keep you social
While ensuring
That your façade reveals nothing.
You are close, yet far
In continuation
But discontinued.
Remembered
But not needed
Loved, but relegated.
‘Forever’ is no one’s destiny
It can only be our prayer
…Our hope.
And hope- we forget
-Can only convey us…
It makes no promises.
Separate we must.
All beginnings must end
All journeys must traverse a destiny.
Our days are ever-developing patterns
Of activity, of attention
Of thought, of belief
Of hope, of feeling
Of organization, of comfort
Of sustenance, of communication
Of staying connected
And of togetherness.
Humanity is the art
That emerges from
Intelligent Design.
Wit. Wisdom. Wonder... 