We’re One

How strange

That love must have rituals

That elaborately and

With excessive pomp and show

Declare on a fixed date

Year after year

The design of our love.

Of course, this works beautifully

When one has to live up to the lie

Of words and sentiments

That were, in the first place,

Exaggerations of plain feelings

That would otherwise go unnoticed

And unheard

In the loud and garish spectacle

Of a theatrical world.

Love is essence, not feeling

It’s not a hope, or an ideal

Neither is it a needy prayer

It’s there in our midst

When we speak through silence

Needing nothing

To decorate our being

Or to celebrate our love

(It’s not an accomplishment)

We’re no longer together

We’re one.

It’s Not a Small Thing

To be given the chance

To learn something

Isn’t a small thing

It means that your heart and mind

Have qualified to receive

The gift of knowledge.

 

They’ve gone through

The treachery

Of phony knowledge

And paid a heavy price

For ignorance…

And survived it!

 

A humbling experience

At some point

Has earned you the merit

Of this moment

The realization that

Knowledge can only be received, not claimed.

 

That moment

When your receptive heart

Is sitting at the feet

Of a knowing preceptor

And listening intently

To words that make perfect sense…

 

That moment is not a small thing.

 

Lose It

Reality doesn’t necessarily abide in

The architecture the world has designed…

There exist men of high morality and character

Wearing the face of convicts in prison cells…

And there are murderers and rapists

In the guise of priests in places of worship…

The best teachers and students

Don’t necessarily sit face to face in elite institutions

But may be living in old, decrepit workshops, inns and shanties…

The best poet may not be found in between the hardbound covers of a book

But may be speaking his heart to an unlettered ear in a tavern…

The best art may not always be in elegant homes and galleries

But may be lying neglected in a corner occupied by a homeless man…

 

To know life then…

One must learn to do away with a contrived sense

To look outside of the shape and structure of things

And meet life bare and naked in mind

With the wisdom that understands

That knowledge gained

Must be knowledge lost.

Lateness

I know you see me live

And ask of me all that I can give

But I’ve always wondered why

We don’t see each other die

Things often taken a turn

When the last remains burn

So easily we let go

Of all unworthy sorrow

And see clearly through moist eyes

That death claims us

 

long before we actually die.

Not Me

Memory persisted

Old battles were recalled

The same arguments were replayed

The same reactions followed

I resolved to deal with this

I was eager to put this behind me

But what was this?

What is ‘me’?

I began to search for answers

And the harder I looked

The clearer it became…

Existence had no trace

Of my conflicts

Nor any interest in ‘me’.

The problem, the memory

Were mine alone.

Memories had molded my mind

Memories had left me with joys and sorrows

Memory needs more memory to be…

The mind is a mad king

A sovereign who usurps experiences

And calls them his own.

Without the mind

I just am…

Memory is not me.

The Last Hurdle

Life changed me

Just as much as

I changed through life

 

Old sentiments were discarded

Compulsions disguised as affections

Had now vanished

 

I distanced myself from the unnecessary

And felt no moral need

To appease the disgruntled

 

I felt no empathy

For the irresponsible

Nor interest in the dramas gripping their lives.

 

Repetition is a chronic condition

That cannot be cured

By either reason or rage.

 

I no longer saw the sense

Of paying a price of solitude

For the lesser charms of company

 

The desire to be surrounded

By relationships and

To be attended to, adored and celebrated-also gone!

 

All has left me

But this voice within

That judges me for drifting away

 

Telling me

It’s a fault I need to correct

That in the end I’ll be left alone.

 

I know

That it’s a matter of time…

The voice too will fade into the distance

 

A faint murmur

And then nothing…

Nothing, but oneness.

 

Pruning

I intentionally dwarf myself
Cutting myself down to size
Afraid that my own largeness
May be a false idea.

And yet…
Even as I continue to belittle myself
The truth of my staggering stature
Reveals itself.

Would I…?

Would I have known freedom
Had you not spoken of it?

Would I have heard you speak of freedom
Had there not been an urge within me to hear of it?

Would there have been an urge within me
Had there been no urge within life to know of it?

Don’t Read This If You Don’t Need To

Attention is everything. To be attentive is to be. However, in a world that has put time on steroids, our capacity for attentiveness is diminished. Ironically, it’s our attention that such a hyperventilating world wants. People no longer face a paucity of things, opportunities or ideas, what they are feeling a lack of supply in, is attentiveness- from others and in themselves. Attention is fast replacing money as the new valuable currency. Everybody seems to want your attention. And attention, which is our most precious intellectual resource- a resource that enables us to perceive, think, act and feel, is running wasted in the gutters of the world that is flooding us with content.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is real and is not restricted to a small percentage of fidgety children, it seems to be afflicting a whole lot of us across various age groups. The harmful effects of unrestrained human activity are not just manifesting in environments external to us, but also in our internal environments. Today, it seems clear that all the things we took for granted- most fundamentally, our capacity to be- we stand on the verge of losing. Our capacity to be attentive yields us our most precious gifts- the gift of love, the gift of perception, the gift of beauty, the gift of experience, the gift of knowledge, the gift of endurance and the gift of wisdom.

Time and the space to be, are most essential to us, and no one should have the right to steal them from us. We must decide who or what we give our time and space to, on whom we bestow our attention. Save your internal environment from this constant pilferage. Reclaim your power of attention. Don’t talk, don’t see, don’t buy, don’t donate, don’t reply if you don’t need to; certainly not at the cost of depleting your resource of attentiveness. It must be reserved for things that really matter.

Freedom & Responsibility

As individuals, we feel confined within our circumstances and bound to our attachments (whatever those attachments may be: to people, ideas, occupations, fears, desires, our pasts…). These in turn, make constant demands on our time and attention. They compulsorily ask of our responsibility. And these responsibilities –we feel-come in the way of a truly free life.

We theoretically understand that we, as human beings are bestowed with free will and the power of choice i.e. the ability to choose our course of action, but we often wish we were free from the burden of making a choice itself. The responsibility that making a choice entails- is a heavy load to carry. As a result, in spite of being empowered with the ability to choose our circumstances or our responsibilities, we find ourselves perpetually craving for freedom. For if choices truly did exist, then a difference- between a superior choice and an inferior one- would immediately be evident. In other words, one of the two choices would clearly lead us from entrapment to freedom. This however, is rarely the case. There seems to be no vertical ascension on having made a choice; no release. Choosing is more like a horizontal meandering- damned if I do, damned if I don’t! What initially feels like an escape from burdensome responsibility- within no time- finds us entrapped within a new set of circumstances. In a bid to replace our old circumstances we get attached to, and responsible for the new one.

So what does that mean? Are we all doomed to a life of enslavement- forever trapped in our circumstances? Or is there a freedom that awaits us?
In society, we exist within a matrix of relationships. As an individual, my sense of responsibility keeps me bound to these relationships. I find myself moving and operating within only a specific trajectory within this matrix. And even as a sense of duty keeps me tied to my family, my environment, my profession, my country; a constant call towards a greater freedom beckons.
What does it mean to be responsible? What does it mean to be free, to be liberated? Are freedom and responsibility two separate choices, two separate paths? Must one be forsaken for the other? Or is there- like everything else within this matrix- a relationship between them?

Freedom and responsibility are internal states, not external ones. The call for responsibility is a call of the conscience and must not be confused for an external demand to meet others’ expectations. Shouldering responsibility means acting authoritatively… and here is where the problem begins… here’s where we begin to feel bound, trapped and enmeshed. We’ve never questioned the true extent of our authority, of our capacity and duty ‘to do’. In general, we have an exaggerated notion of our doer status.

The times we live in, lay a great emphasis on individuality, ownership, authority, and success and accomplishment. These are the values of our times. The ideas of today are rooted in the idea of individual doership and by extension-in individual responsibility. We’re supposedly responsible for our successes or our failures, the happiness, health and safety of our families, or the profits and losses of the organizations we work for… Phew! What a tremendously heavy load to carry!
Being responsible today also implies being willing to be held accountable; to be willing to be the scapegoat on whom the hurt and the affected can anoint blame. After all, if we’re all doers and would like the credit for all the things we have done right; we must also be willing to take the blame when things go wrong because of our doing. But let’s pause a moment… let’s examine: do we really ‘do’ everything we claim to do?

For example, if I drive my car from point A to point B and I reach point B safely; many factors are ‘responsible’ for me having reached there unhindered and unharmed. The fact that the fuel in the car did its job; or the fact that everybody driving on the road with me did their bit and followed traffic rules; or the fact that the traffic lights were working- the list is numerous! And yet, oblivious to all this, I credit myself for being a ‘smart’ driver! Now, contrast this with a scenario where there is an accident. The two parties blame each other, or the poor quality of the roads, or to failed brakes; or to a dysfunctional traffic light… the list is indeed numerous!

The fact remains that everything I think I do, I do because I am silently enabled by other responsible factors that demand neither compensation nor recognition for having done their bit. Our capacity to do is often over-estimated and is in fact, nothing more than our ability to feel and respond. To respond to situations and circumstances is really all that we’re called to do. As deep is my ability to feel, that much full and wholesome is my ability to respond. In other words, the greater the space and freedom within me, the fewer the desires and fears that occupy my mind and heart; the greater is my capacity to feel and respond. If some amongst us possess greater authority than others it is because they are internally free from the unnecessary preoccupations and fears that bog most of us down. The only thing that we’re truly capable of doing is responding sensitively to circumstances and not ensuring or guaranteeing desirable outcomes. As individuals, we can only claim ownership of our responses, not of our circumstances. And the reason by which and for which responsibility is called upon is freedom.

Bound as we are within a matrix of relationships, we often find ourselves shouldering the responsibility for the irresponsible, the reckless and the immature. So, what must we do? What is my responsibility towards another who realizes neither his folly nor the true implication of his authority?

Just as there exist numerous responsible factors that enable and facilitate my free movement through life, I too, must- most urgently and in that very spirit- free another from disadvantage, ignorance, inability, fear, falsity and doubt.
True responsible action happens only when we’re free to act in our truest essence. And true freedom exists in the realization that we’re only essentially responsible. Freedom and responsibility are therefore intricately connected: you can’t live through one without being enabled by the other!