A Beautiful Ritual

I see it now as an idyllic moment

This ensemble before me

Unfolding its meaning

Undressing like a new bride

As I sit and watch

As is ritual

The world move by

Outside my window

 

Rains lashing

My silence hitherto undisturbed

is seduced now

By the strains of an effusive piano

Playing in the soul of a CD

…somewhere in the distance

Of a love felt deeply

As deeply as feeling will allow…

 

Men, women and children

Hurry past my frame

Creatures of free will

Now like puppets on strings of rain

They seem beautiful in their vulnerability

Simple in their motives

As they run on surrendered feet

To familiar sounds, spaces and rituals…

 

Is that really true?

Or is that simply my view?

-An idyllic view…

The sum of a subliminal math

Of a memory recalled by a sentimental piano

And stirrings emancipated by an unbridled monsoon

And people running as the rain wills

Randomly. Intermittently.

 

Maybe that’s all there is

Maybe that’s all that takes

To see the world as beautiful

Sometimes all you need

Is beautiful music

A beautiful memory

A beautiful window

And

A beautiful ritual.

 

 

It’s Plain and Simple

Yes…

I would’ve liked better teacups

But here you are

Nevertheless

Forsaken or gifted

Standing before me every morning

 

And so…

Despite a petulant will

Everyday I grow to love you

And everyday

I get acquainted

With your unexpected beauty

 

Love and Beauty

You’ve taught me

Are not mere affections

 

They are the gifts of our attention

Joys that we receive

Not in our hours of need or merit

But in the generosity of our receptiveness

 

They’re never destinations

But journeys of long, slow acquaintance

Of discovering

And getting to know.

This day, That Year

On June 19, 2010.

 

Last evening

While I waited

Still

In motionless traffic

 

I looked out of the window

And surveyed the scene…

 

Gushing water

That miraculously transformed

Into a raucous river

Where there was

Up until thirty minutes ago

A staid, grey asphalt road

 

(It even had a name

so established it was in identity and purpose)

 

The skies were gloomy…morbidly grim

And the rain poured

In an angry embittered attack

Like a hurl of abuses

 

And yet surprisingly

The people were smiling, laughing

Enjoying the stormy weather

Disturbingly and nervously out of rhythm

 

And I saw in that moment

A co-existence of law and exception

Of frenzied activity and unaffected stillness

Of pleasure and pain

Of gaiety and gravity

Of romance and indifference

 

Without principle

And without story

Contained and composed

On a single undivided canvas

 

Appearances begged my mind

For some explanation

For keen appreciation

For some semblance of balance and purpose

For coherence and cognition

In an agreeable reference to established truth

 

But Truth, I realized

Is not an establishment

 

Neither is it a destination

To which we must undertake a pilgrimage

 

It isn’t a charming euphemism

Nor is it a secret

That stays concealed within a cryptic code

 

And it isn’t a promise either

Awaiting fulfillment

In the distant unseen future

 

Truth is in the experience of NOW

It refuses to account for itself

Lest such account become next moment’s lie!

Truth by inherent virtue

Cannot and does not lie

And it does not care much for Reason or Rhyme

 

It is neither old nor new

It disappears as soon as it appears

It isn’t always staid and grey or

Named and established

In short,

It isn’t always a permanent asphalt road.

All or Nothing

Why speak
Of everything the ears hear
Or of every thought the mind entertains

Why must I be dragged
Out of a sense of custom or civility
Into every exchange of dull gossip

Why must I be numbed
Into believing every lame fib
That masquerades as profound insight

How do I purge out
Every toxic thought
That has been dumped into my mind
And now stains everything I see

How do I skim
This scum of ideas
That grotesquely distorts
An otherwise silent and clear reflection

How do I rise above
This discontent with my world
And forgive its relentless assault on my senses

Should I…
Refuse to see?
Refuse to hear?
Refuse to feel?

Would that help?

Why, I wonder,
Must there be all or nothing…

…Gently but surely
it dawns upon me

the meaning of Providence
…Of Indiscriminate and Total Abundance
…Of Benevolent Blessings

And now my mind rests…
Clean and still…
Receptive and silent…

Reflecting –as it does and it must
Inch for inch
Your full embrace.

A Conversation

You spoke because you felt compelled to speak

I listened because I felt compelled to listen

Something transpired in that sublime exchange

Between a spent thought and purchased silence

Silence now began to think

And an effusive thought now succumbed to silence

You and I had a conversation.

Separation

Feeling now keeps its distance from me

I can see it

And am aware of its presence

But feeling and I don’t touch anymore

Our love affair-

Torrid, passionate, obsessive and humiliating

Has ended

We’ve drifted apart as lovers

And found our bliss as friends

Co-existing and comfortable

In the separateness of our identities.

 

What You Don’t Say

I never know what to make of your words

So I ignore them.

And see instead

The source of this gibberish

And therein I see

Sometimes fear

Sometimes guilt

Sometimes need

Sometimes concern…

…always vulnerability.

And so…

Even though your words say

That you don’t care

And that

You couldn’t be bothered

I agonise no more over their meaning

But see now

With only the simplicity of my own heart

Your own wounded innocence.

The Moment

It takes a moment

for ‘Forever’ to end.

The hours, the days

The months, the years

Can be swallowed in a moment.

The stories we are stringing together

The stories we are living

Can come undone

And scatter like pearls

that lose the thread they cling to

All in a moment.

The Moment is the Ministry of Justice

The Moment is the Sentinel of Truth

The Moment is the Breath of God.

It’s not easy to stand

So close to The Moment

Its power is immense

And so is its mercy.

It can take away your All

Leaving you with nothing more

Than yourself.

Cutting you down to its size

Reminding you

That yourself is all that you’ve got

And The Moment is all that you need.

 

The Insignificance of Significance

Empty pages

Seek recourse from an empty mind

and an empty heart

Stop! Don’t feel!

Lest you weep

If you weep

You’ll unleash a storm

And then

What about the repercussions?

The aftermath?

 

Quiet

 

Hush.

 

Let all storms die within.

 

Breathe- breathe- breathe

 

I see the shadow of my hand as I write

Is that of some significance?

 

Does this simple interplay of light, form and feeling embody a deeper meaning?

Why did this thought come to me?

Ah! Is it because there are now two of us?

The outside is now looking in?

 

I wonder

Are you writing about me?

Or am I writing about you?

Speak, dammit!

Is that how you look?

Dark

Sans detail

Sans voice

Just a shadow

You’re nothing but a mere cast of me?

But then, are you my essence?

 

Just empty watchfulness

An empty page

Defined by nothing more than a silhouette.

 

Breathe-breathe-breathe…

 

Idol Worship

You are the object…

The Reason, the Diety

– that which engages life within me

 

In You I search

And I find

-my despair, my purpose, my redemption

 

You stand there

Feet-tied, tongue- tied, heart-in-knots

Unable to help me

 

But…

 

It is through You

I make the journey

Back to myself

 

From beginning

To end

To beginning again.