A Subtracted Life

Long after you left…

 

Your pointed words stayed with me

Often acting as effective antidotes

To the excesses of my own mind

 

All of my wild leaps of imagination

Swiftly cut down to size

By your pre-emptive acts of concern

 

Had it not been for you

I may’ve been lying fallen somewhere

Ditched by default of my own design.

 

Yes, the credit for my salvation

Must be rightly accorded to you

And to the corrective power of sarcasm

 

For what could’ve otherwise been brutal

And left me hurt and wounded

is now only a persistent dull ache…

 

I continue to exist- corrected, but wronged

Alive, but dead; breathing in a coffin

Shrouded in a symbolic spotless white.

I Am…

What does it take to remove mental afflictions of anger, fear, smallness, desire, hatred and polarity? These afflictions keep us confined within ourselves and don’t allow us to experience the divinity, love and auspiciousness that is the true nature of existence. We live life selectively; on the basis of ideology or kinship with those who are like us. If it’s easy to love those who are like you, it’s just as easy to mistrust or hate ‘the other’ or those who are unlike you. We learn all the skills of living in a ‘world’, paying no attention to the question of what it means to simply exist.

To live in a world means to construct an identity, to secure a place and a role in society and to participate in the economic and political system. It  also means to consistently drive your efforts to change, vanquish, drive away or simply obliterate all that is a threat to your self-created identity. We are forever on guard. The world I see is not a constitution of facts, it’s a constitution of my perceptions. In other words, the joys or sorrows I experience are not caused by the world, but by my perceptions of it. Our existence is wombed in ignorance. We continue to live in ignorance even as we mature as adults. The knowledge we acquire is relative to only those aspects of our existence we commonly agree exist or that which we believe we should know  about in order to sustain ourselves. Such knowledge doesn’t remove us from the womb of our ignorance. We remain undisclosed and unborn to ourselves. It is in this darkness within that the mind imagines, the mind speculates, the mind fears and the mind pines for.

The compulsions that confine, enslave and demean us only thicken with our continued identification with all that we- in a state of ignorance- have constructed. In the final analysis, neither our knowledge of the ‘world’ and its ways, nor our wealth, name, position and kinship will bail us out; but only that knowledge that converses with our self will. When we mask our ignorance, our knowledge is only cosmetic. It simply makes us look good. But when we look at our ignorance, stand facing it, seek to understand it and fearlessly dwell in it- wonderful things happen… For one, you know that you don’t know, you also get certain about what you know and you allow the powers of simple existence to  unfold. Your  speech loses its arrogance and becomes sincere, you empathize, you trust, love becomes free of attachment, and respecting another is no longer a test of your patience or ‘tolerance’. You revel in being ‘supported’ by a force  you can’t see, but which you- despite your ignorance- are absolutely certain, exists.

Politic

It’s pitiful that I should try every cheap trick

To appear larger, more accomplished than you.

 

We, who are riding on the tides of Time

Must instead surrender to its power and mercy

 

Now, no matter what fancy threads you wear

Or how compelling a yarn I spin

 

You and I will fail to live up to

All  the expectations we set from our self-constructed greatness.

 

You appear phony to me

And I, to you, insignificant.

 

Our greatness if any, doesn’t lie in appearances

But in our every effort to step away from them.

 

Appearances after all, it must be remembered

Arise from the imagination, and not from reality.

 

Time, will eventually, strip us off our masks

Freed from our caricatured existence, we will fall from our castles in the air.

 

So today, even though I co-exist with you

I am contemptuous of your insignificant life

 

You annoy me, and I disappoint you

You seek acceptance, and I see you as being worthy of rejection

 

But remember, we’re not made to relay reactions

We have the power to send forth powerful action

 

That powerful action is unconditioned by appearances

It may be mined from your heart

 

It’s in the lap of time we must seek our nurturing

As it is time that will render our rhetoric in pantomimes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A level playing field

How great is life

In the possibilities it holds!

Enabled alike in blindness and vision

Or in richness and poverty

Even so in vice and virtue

And in love and hate.

 

Life is not a road

It’s a vast presence

A space within which we stand

Blindfolded, but supported

Allowed only to imagine

And live out the absurdities

Of our own ideas.

Family

It was a three-hour drive that drove us.

A six-pack

inert

Silent in thought

and throbbing in pulse

Each of us immersed

in a reality of our own

Wombed together

in a pregnant pause

We each emerged a little

in clumsy attempts to connect

Islands adrift

In a sea of consciousness

 

Aware

 

but unknowing

 

Too close for comfort

Yet far away…

 

None of us had anything to say.

“Does Love exist,” she asked…

“Does love exist,” she asked

 

“Expectations unmet

And feelings are held on to closely

On a short leash…

And what about love?

Love stays in my head

Not my heart

It lives on as a concept

It seldom, if ever

Enters my aching heart

 

Does it exist? Anywhere?

And should it exist?

My relationships are but a transaction

Held together precariously

By a concept called ‘duty’.

 

What makes ‘duty’ more dear than love?

Perhaps because I sees that everybody else thinks so…

Love is this fluid, uncontrollable ache

Love knows no partiality

It reveals all

And that’s the scary part

That in love

I will be seen in my nakedness

My skin will lie before you

In all its blemishes

My aching heart will

with innate gravity and force

Drop me to unimaginable lows

I will long for you and your deliverance

With no certainty ever

That I shall be received by the open arms of your own longing

 

Love can just about assure me of two mercies:

Hope and Faith.

But it is duty that’s more prudent,

more pragmatic

It helps me float over the ache

 

And it is Duty that pays the bills

For all those distractions

That fill up my space and time

And love continues to live on

In my head

As a concept.

And because it does

there are expectations unmet

And feelings restrained.”

Understanding Ignorance


Ignorance has a wide circle of friends

Ignorance has tremendous influence

It draws me to people

And people to me

Our common pretense, our common act

We come together in what we lack

Or so we say always believing

It’s through another’s eyes I may understand my seeing

There’s no place among friends for him who knows

It’s your ignorance, your inadequacy that opens up doors

It’s Understanding  though that has afforded me this insight

That Ignorance need not be wrong, it can be very right

Especially when you need some friends

Understand that you’re better of with Ignorance.

 

Manifesto

Our economic system is flawed.

Our political system is flawed.

Our education system is flawed.

Our society is flawed.

 

Because they thrive on falsehood

They need lies for profit, for leverage

And in and through their design

All work is sacrilegious and a curse.

Poverty is immanent in wealth

We only graduate in degrees of ignorance

And man is bound to man in a wretched dependency.

 

The root of all this is the individual

Fallen from Grace

He seeks his Self

He tries to know who he is

By being who he’s not (a sum of different parts).

 

Filled with deluded notions of grandeur

He procures. He makes. He sells.

And he is celebrated for the profit he makes.

In this blinding business of generating profit

He is left with sight, but loses his power to perceive.

 

With such an impairment

He can find worldly sustenance only through profit

He woos gain

And fears loss

He is wide in mirth

But shrivelled in sorrow

He wants only part of what life has to offer

He has no faith in the whole.

 

And the Truth cannot be anything but whole

The Truth Is.

It need not be created

The Truth cannot be measured by numbers or degrees

It is all-pervading and all-embracing.

 

Truth does not grow

It does not favour

the rich over the poor

the strong over the weak

the haves over the have-nots.

 

Infallible in its system

It awaits our homecoming

If only man could find solace

in the knowledge that it’s okay to not know…

And simply accept his being

Forego the contrivances of “who” or “what”.

And celebrate am-ness…

 

Then Truth would speak

And Truth would need

That which only Truth can give

Truth would ask

And Truth would answer

And Truth would accept

What Truth had made.

 

 

 

Presence

I picked up the glass of water

A ring of residue remained

I wiped the surface

The table remained

I took away the table

The room remained

I took away the room

Its memory remained

I took away memory

Nothing remained.

 

Nothing had been there all along.