Unpacking

It’s not about you

There is no ‘you’

There are only circumstances

So that desires may act

And through action

Be liberated from binding thought

 

But who do these desires belong to?

…They belong to me

‘Me’ is only a thought

A rather persistent one

It’s actually a misnomer…

There is no ‘me;’ but there is ‘am-ness.’

 

Sound, space and light

In their tireless play create

A world of forms, words and meanings

And become the experiences

That ‘am-ness’

Describes as ‘mine’

 

In repeatedly describing experiences as ‘mine’

It condenses into an identity

A limited being

Perpetually longing

For an abundance

That pretentious language has hidden away.

 

You and I

Can trace our ancestry to thought

The remnants of an inaccurate language

That didn’t have the words

To describe

The indescribable.

 

 

 

So much effort

To possess requires so much effort

To enjoy all that there is-

none.

 

To become rich requires so much effort

To be enriched-

none.

 

To solve a problem requires so much effort

To watch its passing-

None.

Unintended

Pen, book and intention

A haiku seems like a good idea

I need to know even though I know

Is this temporary, fleeting?

How must I apprehend it

This totality in existence?

How do I classify it

For the sake of memory?

‘Contemplation?’

‘Boredom?’

‘Living out my purpose?’

‘Existence?’

‘Being?’

‘Becoming?’

‘….none of the above…?’

 

And now I know

Acceptance is active and creative

And now I am

Excited, happy, alive!

Free of all lofty intention…

Lost Property

How dear is my present to me!

Even as it stands imperfect

And flawed

 

I know it. It’s familiar.

I’m drawn to it because it so effortlessly

Becomes mine

 

My present is the culmination

Of the hours, days and years I’ve devoted to

Become me.

 

If I lose it, I will lose all the vanities

That I had with great complexity interwoven with

My being

 

I will stand a ridiculous lie unto myself!

 

My heart will weep not so much

For the loss of people, places, property

Or poetry

 

But for standing disrobed and diminished

Before all that I dressed up

And decorated.

 

The present is rich in the meanings of thoughts

Whose enslavement I have come

To enjoy.

 

Who am I without them?

WHERE am I without them? They’re all

I’ve known.

 

My tormentors have been my only love…

 

And even though I know

That life is a habitually

Late messiah

 

A sleeping savior in a dream state

I can see now that I’m nothing more than

Its dream.

 

It’s Plain and Simple

Yes…

I would’ve liked better teacups

But here you are

Nevertheless

Forsaken or gifted

Standing before me every morning

 

And so…

Despite a petulant will

Everyday I grow to love you

And everyday

I get acquainted

With your unexpected beauty

 

Love and Beauty

You’ve taught me

Are not mere affections

 

They are the gifts of our attention

Joys that we receive

Not in our hours of need or merit

But in the generosity of our receptiveness

 

They’re never destinations

But journeys of long, slow acquaintance

Of discovering

And getting to know.

The Insignificance of Significance

Empty pages

Seek recourse from an empty mind

and an empty heart

Stop! Don’t feel!

Lest you weep

If you weep

You’ll unleash a storm

And then

What about the repercussions?

The aftermath?

 

Quiet

 

Hush.

 

Let all storms die within.

 

Breathe- breathe- breathe

 

I see the shadow of my hand as I write

Is that of some significance?

 

Does this simple interplay of light, form and feeling embody a deeper meaning?

Why did this thought come to me?

Ah! Is it because there are now two of us?

The outside is now looking in?

 

I wonder

Are you writing about me?

Or am I writing about you?

Speak, dammit!

Is that how you look?

Dark

Sans detail

Sans voice

Just a shadow

You’re nothing but a mere cast of me?

But then, are you my essence?

 

Just empty watchfulness

An empty page

Defined by nothing more than a silhouette.

 

Breathe-breathe-breathe…

 

Idol Worship

You are the object…

The Reason, the Diety

– that which engages life within me

 

In You I search

And I find

-my despair, my purpose, my redemption

 

You stand there

Feet-tied, tongue- tied, heart-in-knots

Unable to help me

 

But…

 

It is through You

I make the journey

Back to myself

 

From beginning

To end

To beginning again.

Lesson on Liberation

“Mamma, what will happen to a person inside a mirror, if the mirror breaks? Will the person come out?” Kiara, my five year old enquired intelligently.

I picked up the mirror, held it before her and asked, “Who do you see?”

” I see me!” she replied smiling.

” Now if this mirror were to break, where would you go?” I asked

” Nowhere… I’ll be here…” she replied with a sparkle in her eye.

She smiled realising the unreality of images in the mirror.

And I, on realising the unreality of thoughts in my mind.

How Fascinating!

How engaging it is-

To occupy the mind

With a full spectrum of affections

From the basest desires

To the highest virtues.

 

How intelligent it is-

To draw up the warp and weft

Of random events

And to weave a rich tapestry

With my very own patterns of thought and imagination.

 

How gratifying it is-

To believe in ‘my person’

As being native to an undiscovered Being

And to proceed therefrom

On a lifelong journey towards self-discovery.

Krishna Consciousness and the Art of Upliftment

There exists in human beings the unique capacity to conceptualize an ideal. But as readily as that comes to you in a state of inspiration or ‘darshan’- where you instantly glimpse the truth; rising up to that ideal is often a challenging, trying journey. It’s almost as if numerous forces line themselves up to frustrate and defeat your noble efforts. Why should it be like that? Why do we inevitably find ourselves in a battle with circumstances, to simply reach that, which we have been made to see or understand? Why is it not so that upon understanding, I be instantly lifted from my ignorance to enlightenment?  Why must I have to wage a war against so many demons to attain that glimpse of Reality that has been made cognizable to my understanding? What are these obstacles that stand in my way?

Following the path of your understanding till you reach that ideal is your ‘Dharma’. Making a pilgrimage from the baser occupations of your life to your highest calling is your individual ‘Svadharma’. Now, having intended to follow my ‘svadharma’ why should I face so many obstacles to get there? Why should these obstacles exist? Who has put them before me?

The obstacles I face, are nothing but the hardened accumulation of my own past sins or indiscretions; the unconscious habits that have formed my character. And my character, in turn, has carved out my destiny. This destiny manifests itself in the circumstances I face today. The enemies we face on the outside were at first born within: and then nurtured and armed to destroy the very self who gave them life. But how did this happen? How did I unwittingly give rise to my own nemesis? How do I cultivate an objective view of this nemesis so as to conquer it?

The thoughts we entertain in our minds are the harbingers of the circumstances we will awake to. Thoughts that run askew and are unaligned with reality, drawn in different directions by desire, greed, insecurity, anger, fear, attachments and pride- are off the mark and are, what we identify as ‘sins’. Typically, sins agitate the mind and strip it off its repose and dignity. The way to know or see that your actions have been sinful, is to reflect upon one’s own state of mind- Are you happy, cheerful, optimistic, looking forward, or are you miserable, angry, pessimistic and hateful? Happiness in any condition- that is a state of being at peace with any circumstance is in itself, an indication of a mind attuned to a Higher Reality. On the other hand, being agitated at the slightest provocation, being thrown into despair, being fearful and angry, or constantly plotting to change circumstances so that they favour you- indicates a disarrayed mind. Such a mind lacks an ideal or a Godhead towards which thoughts ought to be directed. The first step to conquering an enemy is identifying it, then understanding it, and ultimately commanding it!

Raas Leela

Immediately install at the dark altar of your ignorance an ideal or a Godhead. Daily, light a small lamp of knowledge to dispel false ideas and glimpse on a daily basis your ideal. Let you intellect keep a watch over all layers of your personality. Let them be ordered and integrated by the sane counsel of your intellect; and let your intellect in turn, fix its attention on that ideal/ Godhead. Your thoughts must be kept under a tight watch. They must be conscious and dedicated to your ideal. Your thoughts must revolve around your ideal- like the gopis immersed in their love for Krishna dance in a spirit of surrender and devotion around Him.