To Know is to Exhale

If only we knew… knew what we truly wanted… knew what was expected of us… knew our true potential… knew clearly- right from wrong… knew how to work, to love, to care, to respond, to express, to atone, to change… the list is endless!
But, why do we wish to know? Do we hope and perhaps, suppose that knowledge can arm us with the power to shape our experiences; that somehow we can take charge of our destinies and escape the effects of karma? Is there this hope within us that prior knowledge can help mitigate the experiences that life has in store for us?
And, does it? Does knowing about death; about the transient and phenomenal nature of existence save us from experiencing grief and sorrow and loss? Does knowing a priori the many challenges in a marital relationship save us from experiencing our own?
What then, can be an appropriate expectation from our knowledge? Is the purpose of man’s education to ‘know’ his world and thereby gain sovereignty over it? We wish that our learning be elegant, sophisticated, free of all embarrassing follies. Yet, probe a little, and you’ll see that it is only after fully experiencing that we truly learn. We get affected, addicted; we fall; we err; we summon up a dormant courage, we rise and we learn. Our education system supposes that if we started from the end we’d skip the pain and suffering and jump to a higher level of consciousness. So it says- learn, rise, summon up your courage and beware of falling… But then, aren’t we putting the proverbial cart before the horse?
What is true knowledge? When can you say you know something? How do you know? Can knowledge be borrowed or transferred? Does knowledge fulfill a purpose or is knowledge in itself, the purpose to be fulfilled?
We perceive a world external to us. It seems to have been there even before we were born and we believe it shall be there even after we go. Our instructions about this world begin very early on in our lives. We see, hear, smell, taste and touch and that knowledge is interpreted for us. We’re informed that that what we touch, see, hear and smell has a name; and not only will knowing those names do us good (in terms of social acceptance and survival), but also, we must know what the world before us has known about our experiences. We call this education.
But is such an education past its day? When man believed that the world manifest before him was a challenge he needed to surmount, an education at the level of gathering and disseminating information may have been relevant and enough. But has this information-oriented system of education become irrelevant today? Today, we’re aware that the world’s challenges- global warming, environmental molestation, terrorism, consumerism, corruption, violence, excessive legislation, power imbalances, wealth and resource depletion and of course, a token education begin and end with the biggest culprit- man himself. He alone is both the problem and its solution. Of all the problems we perceive at a macro level, the individual’s constitution is the microcosm. What seems like a huge monster-like challenge- standing outside of us- has in reality- proceeded from the darkness of the individual heart and mind. Where true knowledge is absent, imagination is most fertile and desire uncontrollable. Our imagining that our futures might be at stake pushes us to amass and hoard wealth. Our imagining that we may be deprived of love, affection and acceptance, makes pretense, lying and empty tokenism a way of life. Our imaginary fear that life is ruthless and difficult makes corrupting an easy lifestyle choice. We delude ourselves into believing that we know… but can you truly claim to know anything without knowing the fears and machinations of your own mind.
It is to dispel this darkness that man seeks knowledge. And we wish that the knowledge we receive be true and authentic and not the mere transference of another’s interpretation and fertile imagination. But how are we to know that we indeed, truly know?
We read. We speak. We exchange views and we find ourselves believing some things and discarding others. The external stimuli are available to all; yet the simple action of an apple falling from a tree prompts a Newton to discover the law of gravity, an artist to see in it a rich symbolism and an agriculturist- an opportunity for cultivation. It seems that we come to know what is in our essential nature to know. We can only know that which resonates and concurs with something already in existence within us. Look back and you shall see that the knowledge that truly mattered was not that which cloaked your ignorance, but was that which revealed to you your wisdom. Wisdom does not dwell in the height or breadth of our thinking, but lies in the depth of our understanding. And therefore, often, the most erudite teachings, that hold the answers to every possible question ever asked pass us by like an indifferent wind. Not everything touches us, speaks to us or inspires us. And when something does, we truly feel that it lends more power to our voice.
True knowledge therefore, may be discerned in correct self-expression. When you know something truly and authentically, it flows in and out of you as effortlessly as your breath. The quest for knowledge is fundamentally, a search for your own voice.
Knowledge and understanding cannot be given to us unless we have within us an equal knowledge and understanding to give.

Wisdom is thought freed.

Why do we do things that are ‘useless’ or ‘futile’ ? – Because we must… ‘Must’ – not in the sense of doing one’s duty or even as an act of blind faith in a higher purpose- but because whether we realize it or not, we are the’instruments’ through which action is done. Because we believe we are the doers of action, and we must act to protect and secure ourselves in an uncertain world- we believe that we can order our will. But ‘Will’-which is our unique human attribute- is not our instrument, it is our master.

The problem is that more often than not, that ‘Will’ is plugged into our sense of need or deficiency- unaware as it is of its sovereignty and abundance. What you MUST DO does not need guidance from thought ( which is always divisive and partial), but from a WILL that stands apart from thought. This ‘will’ in religion is referred to as ‘HIS WILL’ . In simple spiritual terms, it is nothing more than an operating faith in consciousness itself.

Consciousness can only be reflected in thought, not ordered by it. Thought on the other hand, needs to be a perpetual student of  Consciousness- for ever at its feet. Thought when correctly understood to be the disciple and not the Guru, or the servant and not the master- doesn’t rush to take control of the situation, but knowing very well it’s limited capacity and role- surrenders itself to ‘Thy Will’.

Ask yourself: Does your knowledge- your consolidated body of thought- save you from pain, from erring and sinning, time and again?

No.

Then what is it’s use? Why do we continue to believe in it? Why despite all our knowing, we really cannot choose all our experiences?

Perhaps the time has come to make a transition- from being tormented Gods who suffer endlessly in our self-created worlds- to becoming INSTRUMENTS OF AWARENESS. We’re living a dream- a terrible dream- that in the end always makes a mockery of us. The biggest and the most tragic mistake we make is in thinking we’re separate individuals with separate destinies and that we must – now that we have made ourselves God- rightfully claim our share of the world. Our innocence is deceived into believing the knowledge we have unwittingly ‘accumulated’. And ‘belief’ on its part- true to its nature- cements our illusions to create walls that stand between us and reality.

Things external to us seem more ‘real’ than our tender voices within. Conflict becomes our state of mind. We seek knowledge of reality through information. And yet we never truly ‘know.’

Can a mind crammed with information ever know wisdom? Wisdom is not in the world, in the temporal or changing; wisdom is eternal. You can find it in yourself when you trust life completely. A mind that seeks information to ‘control’ action can never know wisdom. A mind devoted to the Higher, and not enmeshed in the lower- is the way to access Wisdom and move in eternal freedom.