Stretch That Smile

I look at myself

A product of

Circumstances x Ideas…

 

I begin to make a mental note

Of all those

I feel distanced from.

 

A Ted Talk this morning

Presented a strong case for

Asking the right questions.

 

And so I ask not

Why I moved away…

I ask: What other horizons beckoned me?

 

Our reasons for

Nearness or farness, as it were

May not exist within our relationships…

 

New ideas brought me

To new circumstances

…And to new relationships.

 

 

Don’t accuse me

Of carelessness

Or of falling out

 

I was always listening to you

As you spoke

But were you listening to me?

 

Couldn’t you tell

I was thinking

Of new things?

 

Couldn’t you see

My circumstances

Were changing?

 

Why make a relationship

A constraint for being

Or for becoming?

 

Now that we’ve grown apart

Can you recalibrate

Your expectations?

 

Are You Ready for Departure?

Have you emptied your mind

Of all resentments and grudges

And offered it at the altar

Of an ever-present love

That has the heart-space

To let thoughts of all textures be?

 

Have you risen from the feeling of paucity and need;

Reclaimed your inheritance of abundance

And come to the realization

That your blessings far exceed your need;

Have you come to see

That to give is the only way to live?

 

Have you let go of all expectations

That external change

Must be ordered by your efforts

And instead re-directed

Your attention and work

Towards re-aligning yourself?

 

Have you understood

That you will not live forever

And that you are life’s guest;

A pilgrim on a journey…

Have you found as yet

What you are here to seek?

 

Have you embraced both

Strength and vulnerability

Gain and loss

Success and failure

Pleasure and pain

Requital and rejection?

 

Are you ready for your onward journey?

Have you packed in your magic-

That special power that life decorated you with?

That incredible ability to convert

Darkness to light; experience to wisdom and

Apprehension to love.

When You Leave

When you leave…

Leave behind that part

Of yourself for me,

That was larger than

What photographs have captured;

Of greater dimensions than your physique-

Leave me with your immensities…

 

When you leave…

Allow me to move on

With the stories

Of your human-ness

So that I may

In my loss and vulnerability

Stand re-acquainted with my own…

 

When you leave…

Leave the door open

So that I can find you

In a space free of walls

And manufactured distances

Meet with me there…

Let’s get to know each other again.

No Leftovers

That which I need most

Is unavailable to me

Not because of someone else’s

Carelessness or lack of love

But ironically,

Because of my own.

Be Discreet

Be discreet

About your feelings

Not everyone is connected with you.

 

Be discreet

About your opinions

They may belittle someone’s cherished values.

 

Be discreet

About sharing your joys

Not everyone has the heart-space to accommodate them.

 

Be discreet

About your wins

They may make someone feel like a loser.

 

Be discreet

About your losses.

They may allow someone to exploit your vulnerabilities.

 

Be discreet

About your power

Its potency is lost on exposure.

 

Be discreet

About your world…

Because you don’t live in it; it lives within you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breathe Deeply

The well of wisdom

Lies deep below the surface

Of appearances

Which can only show

Our scars and our smiles.

We must come to see

That wounds run deep

And that resilience is a counterforce

That becomes a tree

Which grows upside down

Rooted in experiences

But flowering in deep reflection.

Happiness can never be

An attribute of the superficial

Its source is a fount

That bursts from a force within

A deeply intuitive one

That has learned to assert itself

In the face of misleading appearances.

When you breathe

Breathe deeply.

 

Look Ahead. March On.

How do I look beyond

What I see at present?

Is that seeing a matter

Of imagination, or faith?

What must I presuppose?

What must I know?

 

The present will cease

To overwhelm you

If you understand that it is

Only an event

In the expanse of a larger destiny

That awaits you.

Don’t cling to it

Don’t linger on it

For too long…

If the moment is over

Leave it behind

Knowing fully well

That you are on your way forward

And that if time hasn’t stopped

You have to continue walking…

You have other promises to keep.

 

Do You Want To Know What Love Is?

That we feel love- is a unanimous fact. But how it prompts us to act and react seems to be individually determined. My state of mind determines whether I perceive love as a need, as an attachment or as pleasurable affection.  Does everything good, pleasing and gratifying indicate the presence of love and all that is painful, difficult and demanding- its absence? Why do we forge relationships out of love’s will and end them on ours? And then, why is every love story- with fiery, passionate beginnings- fated for an eventual separation, either physically or emotionally? Does a long-standing relationship indicate love’s blessing and a short-lived one its curse? And when our ‘affairs’ end, what changes mark our new beginnings?

How disintegrated and complex is the adult human heart! And in true inverse proportion how simple and effortless are the ways of children! Why is it so easy to love a child and so difficult to love an adult?

Children make no ‘conditions’ by which they shall ‘trade’ love. They don’t set out to make its laws; neither do they contemplate them; they simply follow them. Adults, on the other hand, have developed a mind and the mind as such, is characterized by memories, ideas, needs, desires and attachments. To love another adult requires a constant examination and purification of one’s emotions. As adults, we feel loved when we are understood, respected, trusted, attended to, wanted and desired. Love- if we allow it to have its way- will eventually re-acquaint and align us with our own hearts.

Love’s fulfillment lies in two becoming one whole and then eventually, one whole realizing that it always was, is and will always be- All.  For the individual, love fulfils the needs- not of the ego, but of the soul. Love, in the adult human mind, begins as a furtherance, an extending out of your self; and is experienced as a fuller presence. In wanting to repeat and recall the experience of that fuller presence, we embark on a journey marked with rejections, trials and antagonisms. In and through those experiences, through every changing emotion, through every triumph of the spirit, we stand re-acquainted and fully aware of our essence. Love extracts out of you your full worth.

Which is why, sometimes even after a relationship has ended, your new beginning is marked- not with a sense of loss, but with a sense of gain. You sense a growth, re-discover your self-esteem, develop greater self-reliance, become more responsible, realize your faith and cultivate the ability to endure, tolerate and be patient. You plumb your depths and find within you unbelievable strength and courage. Love’s path is an upward path. Falling in love is a weakness of the human heart and rising in it- its strength. Love begins as affection and is fulfilled with realization of the Self. When you discover and realize within you- self-confidence, courage, faith, independence, tolerance and patience- then only do you gain a full awareness of love within you. Love then, ceases to be a thirst and becomes the fountainhead of every action that flows out of you. Simply put, it transforms from being the problem to now being the solution.

Wait. Watch. Listen.

The mind is a cheat. And it will cheat, if it is left to its own devices. It will suck you into a spiral of thoughts, trick you into believing their baseless ‘knowledge’ and completely hijack your attention to act on their ‘plans and desires’.

How are habits of thinking formed? How are memories reinforced and strengthened? What lies beyond this mind with its memories and desires and fears? Why is it that one feels imprisoned and bound in that which gives one the greatest feeling of safety and security? Which one of us hasn’t felt confined within and limited by our own minds? Why does a freedom beyond our safe and secure prisons beckon us?

The substance of all that is the mind (memories et al) is accumulated knowledge- a medley of remembered experiences, reinforced by our continuous expression of it through language. The mind remembers everything that seems significant and meaningful to the ego- that part of our selves that is interested in stringing together a story about itself or in ‘arriving’ somewhere.  Our knowledge of language with its words and their commonly understood meanings is very often a handicap rather than an advantage. Having reduced language to a mere code whose meanings can be sought in a dictionary, we end up with a corrupted and stereotyped understanding of the one thing that shapes and structures our mind-and that is our unique experiences. Knowledge can be so impressive and seductive that we find ourselves unable and unwilling to feel anything other than what our knowledge of words and their meanings allows us to feel. ‘A mere verbal understanding of something’, noted J Krishnamurti, ‘is no understanding at all.’

Instead of communicating that which our senses perceive and feel, we’ve used language to educate our senses. We try to fashion our senses by overstating or embellishing what we truly feel. Without knowledge, without the means to name and identify, we seem to be diminished in our eloquence and consequently in our ability to impress another with our story. We draw sustenance and nourishment from being acknowledged by others and we’ll end up doing anything for such nourishment- including impressing others with more than what we actually feel.

Riding secure in our knowledge of words and what they generally mean, we may draw great comfort from their common, shared perceptions, but we’re also prone to feel great disappointment when our  ‘reality’ does not conform to the general interpretations of it. For example, you may be in a relationship with another, but it may not at all live up to the ‘standards’ of a typical relationship. Your ideas (shaped and structured by language), of love and trust may often create conflicting states in your relationship. If you enter a relationship with ideas of how it should be (being completely blind and disinclined to appreciate how it is), chances are before you know it, conflicts will begin to gnaw your mind.

Words and their community- language- have given us a false sense of knowledge and understanding. For most, knowing the language basically is enough. We don’t acutely feel the need to transcend it, when in fact we must. Language and words after all, are merely symbols of feeling and insight. We’ve grabbed the words and discarded the ability to feel deeply. In watching out for how we feel, in trusting the intelligence of our senses, we summon up and gather all our attention to simply being present to the ‘now’ and watching. It’s in the silent watching and in the vigilant application of our attention, that understanding comes to us. The noise and clamor of ideas is absent and the prison gates of the mind are thrown open, becoming that window of understanding we’re all so graciously and divinely blessed with. Knowing that such a window exists is the first step in throwing your mental space open to a breath of fresh air that can drive out the stale air of recycled knowledge. That window must be a window by which you can wait, watch and listen.

Work

All work is about facilitating…

Making easy…

Making possible…

Making a difference…

 

I look at myself…

Small…limited…

And confined

Within myself.

 

I wonder…

How do I make easy,

Make possible

My own freedom?

 

By what means will I make a difference to me?