It’s Plain and Simple

Yes…

I would’ve liked better teacups

But here you are

Nevertheless

Forsaken or gifted

Standing before me every morning

 

And so…

Despite a petulant will

Everyday I grow to love you

And everyday

I get acquainted

With your unexpected beauty

 

Love and Beauty

You’ve taught me

Are not mere affections

 

They are the gifts of our attention

Joys that we receive

Not in our hours of need or merit

But in the generosity of our receptiveness

 

They’re never destinations

But journeys of long, slow acquaintance

Of discovering

And getting to know.

All or Nothing

Why speak
Of everything the ears hear
Or of every thought the mind entertains

Why must I be dragged
Out of a sense of custom or civility
Into every exchange of dull gossip

Why must I be numbed
Into believing every lame fib
That masquerades as profound insight

How do I purge out
Every toxic thought
That has been dumped into my mind
And now stains everything I see

How do I skim
This scum of ideas
That grotesquely distorts
An otherwise silent and clear reflection

How do I rise above
This discontent with my world
And forgive its relentless assault on my senses

Should I…
Refuse to see?
Refuse to hear?
Refuse to feel?

Would that help?

Why, I wonder,
Must there be all or nothing…

…Gently but surely
it dawns upon me

the meaning of Providence
…Of Indiscriminate and Total Abundance
…Of Benevolent Blessings

And now my mind rests…
Clean and still…
Receptive and silent…

Reflecting –as it does and it must
Inch for inch
Your full embrace.

To Know is to Exhale

If only we knew… knew what we truly wanted… knew what was expected of us… knew our true potential… knew clearly- right from wrong… knew how to work, to love, to care, to respond, to express, to atone, to change… the list is endless!
But, why do we wish to know? Do we hope and perhaps, suppose that knowledge can arm us with the power to shape our experiences; that somehow we can take charge of our destinies and escape the effects of karma? Is there this hope within us that prior knowledge can help mitigate the experiences that life has in store for us?
And, does it? Does knowing about death; about the transient and phenomenal nature of existence save us from experiencing grief and sorrow and loss? Does knowing a priori the many challenges in a marital relationship save us from experiencing our own?
What then, can be an appropriate expectation from our knowledge? Is the purpose of man’s education to ‘know’ his world and thereby gain sovereignty over it? We wish that our learning be elegant, sophisticated, free of all embarrassing follies. Yet, probe a little, and you’ll see that it is only after fully experiencing that we truly learn. We get affected, addicted; we fall; we err; we summon up a dormant courage, we rise and we learn. Our education system supposes that if we started from the end we’d skip the pain and suffering and jump to a higher level of consciousness. So it says- learn, rise, summon up your courage and beware of falling… But then, aren’t we putting the proverbial cart before the horse?
What is true knowledge? When can you say you know something? How do you know? Can knowledge be borrowed or transferred? Does knowledge fulfill a purpose or is knowledge in itself, the purpose to be fulfilled?
We perceive a world external to us. It seems to have been there even before we were born and we believe it shall be there even after we go. Our instructions about this world begin very early on in our lives. We see, hear, smell, taste and touch and that knowledge is interpreted for us. We’re informed that that what we touch, see, hear and smell has a name; and not only will knowing those names do us good (in terms of social acceptance and survival), but also, we must know what the world before us has known about our experiences. We call this education.
But is such an education past its day? When man believed that the world manifest before him was a challenge he needed to surmount, an education at the level of gathering and disseminating information may have been relevant and enough. But has this information-oriented system of education become irrelevant today? Today, we’re aware that the world’s challenges- global warming, environmental molestation, terrorism, consumerism, corruption, violence, excessive legislation, power imbalances, wealth and resource depletion and of course, a token education begin and end with the biggest culprit- man himself. He alone is both the problem and its solution. Of all the problems we perceive at a macro level, the individual’s constitution is the microcosm. What seems like a huge monster-like challenge- standing outside of us- has in reality- proceeded from the darkness of the individual heart and mind. Where true knowledge is absent, imagination is most fertile and desire uncontrollable. Our imagining that our futures might be at stake pushes us to amass and hoard wealth. Our imagining that we may be deprived of love, affection and acceptance, makes pretense, lying and empty tokenism a way of life. Our imaginary fear that life is ruthless and difficult makes corrupting an easy lifestyle choice. We delude ourselves into believing that we know… but can you truly claim to know anything without knowing the fears and machinations of your own mind.
It is to dispel this darkness that man seeks knowledge. And we wish that the knowledge we receive be true and authentic and not the mere transference of another’s interpretation and fertile imagination. But how are we to know that we indeed, truly know?
We read. We speak. We exchange views and we find ourselves believing some things and discarding others. The external stimuli are available to all; yet the simple action of an apple falling from a tree prompts a Newton to discover the law of gravity, an artist to see in it a rich symbolism and an agriculturist- an opportunity for cultivation. It seems that we come to know what is in our essential nature to know. We can only know that which resonates and concurs with something already in existence within us. Look back and you shall see that the knowledge that truly mattered was not that which cloaked your ignorance, but was that which revealed to you your wisdom. Wisdom does not dwell in the height or breadth of our thinking, but lies in the depth of our understanding. And therefore, often, the most erudite teachings, that hold the answers to every possible question ever asked pass us by like an indifferent wind. Not everything touches us, speaks to us or inspires us. And when something does, we truly feel that it lends more power to our voice.
True knowledge therefore, may be discerned in correct self-expression. When you know something truly and authentically, it flows in and out of you as effortlessly as your breath. The quest for knowledge is fundamentally, a search for your own voice.
Knowledge and understanding cannot be given to us unless we have within us an equal knowledge and understanding to give.

Separation

Feeling now keeps its distance from me

I can see it

And am aware of its presence

But feeling and I don’t touch anymore

Our love affair-

Torrid, passionate, obsessive and humiliating

Has ended

We’ve drifted apart as lovers

And found our bliss as friends

Co-existing and comfortable

In the separateness of our identities.

 

Idol Worship

You are the object…

The Reason, the Diety

– that which engages life within me

 

In You I search

And I find

-my despair, my purpose, my redemption

 

You stand there

Feet-tied, tongue- tied, heart-in-knots

Unable to help me

 

But…

 

It is through You

I make the journey

Back to myself

 

From beginning

To end

To beginning again.

Lesson from an afternoon nap

3:15pm:

I lie down for a nap.

Thoughts are racing in my head.

They fight each other

One must emerge as the winner-

The most powerful thought-

The one endowed with most reason…

The fight in mind should settle it

Once and for all.

 

I shut my eyes

I consciously step away from the arena.

Their argument becomes dimmer as I walk away…

When the noises become faint

I slip into bliss…

 

4:20pm:

I’m up…

The thoughts are now a memory.

Time transported me into the future.

Having left thought behind

I feel older, wiser

more mature.

 

This is the way to grow:

This is the way to win:

Yes, thoughts will enter

And claim your space

Allow them to fight out their dialectical destiny.

Stand up

Walk away

Realize that

The attainment you seek

Doesn’t  depend on a thought’s victory.

 

 

 

Understanding Ignorance


Ignorance has a wide circle of friends

Ignorance has tremendous influence

It draws me to people

And people to me

Our common pretense, our common act

We come together in what we lack

Or so we say always believing

It’s through another’s eyes I may understand my seeing

There’s no place among friends for him who knows

It’s your ignorance, your inadequacy that opens up doors

It’s Understanding  though that has afforded me this insight

That Ignorance need not be wrong, it can be very right

Especially when you need some friends

Understand that you’re better of with Ignorance.

 

Right now

Time, our common inheritance, is given to us bit by bit, in instalments. It is apprehended as the gap between two experiences or two memories. We experience time in our experience of having moved forward, or in having left behind an experience or in having grown. It is in the growth of our consciousness that we experience time. And although it is our common gift, we differ in the way we experience time…in what we choose to do with it. For some, time is the dull, aching persistence of memory. For others, it’s marked by the chase of a desire for an imagined future. Our being is often torn between our past and our worries or hopes for the future.

Our experience of time is dependent upon the quality, quantity and pre-occupations of our thoughts. The more the thoughts and the more they revolve around your self and your plans, the more you will stand defeated. The rich rewards time yields can never be claimed by one who is under the captivity of his/her own mind. They can only be reaped by those who are free of their past and have faith in a yet unseen future. This faith allows them to live without fear-in the here and the now.

We swim through life in a sea of eternity. The past, present and future are our mental constructs; they have no basis in reality. We simply move from the present to the present, bit-by-bit. We grow, or  at least we ought to, in our ability to grasp the wealth of a single moment. Right now is all I am bequeathed. Right now is all that I have.

My grand ideas keep me from appreciating the little. I equate ‘more’ with ‘more’. I’m unable to see that in the dimension of time, a breadth of accomplishment lies in the depth of a moment. Is it possible that in this moment of a single breath, I accomplish all that I must accomplish. In wanting something more than what this moment is offering me, am I not missing something? What is a year after all, if not an exponential day? And what is a day, if not an exponential hour? And what is an hour, if not an exponential minute?

The question then should be : How do I raise the power of my present? The only way to raise the power of the present is to LIVE IN IT. Living in the present requires that we be free of worry and entrenched in faith. The faithless move from one enchantment to the next, foolishly bypassing the miracles of their own lives. Unable to see the value in their existence as it is, they long for another. In their longing, plans and journeys are made, things are acquired and positions sought. They wait for that moment when they will taste the times they long for, looking down in irritation at the present that seems so indifferent and ordinary. They often talk about ‘killing’ time, rather than ‘living’ it. To have faith, is to awaken to the power of both- REASON and INTUITION. A person of faith knows that he has all that he needs to ride heroically on this moment. It’s not wiled away in longing, but befriended through an exchange of capabilities. The moments are lived as a celebration; they’re not wasted in planning a celebration. The wise know that there is nothing to be gained in life, that life-in this moment- is the gain itself.

 

Right now-

I realized

Cannot be met

With charming words

 

It will meet you only in silence.

 

Right now-

Wants and desires

An immediate and intense union

A disappearance of two

 

And the appearance of the one.

 

Right now-

Refuses to conform

To the conventional, the old

Where the world ‘exists’ in a long-dead relationship

Between subject and predicate.

 

Right now-

I am worthless in what I know and possess

But valuable (I sense)

In my sheer presence

 

Beggared of all accumulated wealth.

 

Right now-

I am humbled

By this lack of basic ability

To share with you

 

The gift of the new.

 

Right now-

I realize

I shall have to make do

With greeting cards and amusing knick-knacks

 

To convey fossilized feelings to you.

 

Right now-

I appreciate the distance between us

Hoping that wherever you are

You are alone, immersed in your own presence

 

Receiving this gift that I lack the ability to give.

 

 

 

 

 

And Life Will Go On…

I had lived this moment

in my mind

many times-

over and over again.

I had heard you speak

(in my imagination)

words that pierced

through my heart.

And then…

there was stillness

Did I die?

Would I die?

How would I go on?

And yet today,

when what I had imagined

has followed its script

And come into being…

I find myself standing…

breathing…

I swallow it in.

I hear you

But I’m not dead

And I know that I will not die

because of what you’ve said.

I’ll live through it.

Life will prevail

over my limited imagination.