To possess requires so much effort
To enjoy all that there is-
none.
To become rich requires so much effort
To be enriched-
none.
To solve a problem requires so much effort
To watch its passing-
None.
To possess requires so much effort
To enjoy all that there is-
none.
To become rich requires so much effort
To be enriched-
none.
To solve a problem requires so much effort
To watch its passing-
None.
You asked me why I ask
So many questions
When the answers are so few
What purpose could it serve
Asking so many questions
And will new answers
Stop me from asking
The same old questions?!?!
Why can’t I accept
The answers already given (or perhaps hidden)
For centuries…for eons…since eternity…
Aren’t willful ignorance
and elusive enlightenment
riding on the same adventure?
I don’t know…
I guess I find no silence, no repose
In the posers
you call answers
For the same twisted reason
You get so disturbed, so diverted
By the posers
that are my questions.
So there we are
All gesture paused
By an exasperated silence
Thought defeated, we now just are…
Sitting vis-à-vis
Sailing together, I realize,
In the same clichéd boat
To a destination known only to silent destiny.
Pen, book and intention
A haiku seems like a good idea
I need to know even though I know
Is this temporary, fleeting?
How must I apprehend it
This totality in existence?
How do I classify it
For the sake of memory?
‘Contemplation?’
‘Boredom?’
‘Living out my purpose?’
‘Existence?’
‘Being?’
‘Becoming?’
‘….none of the above…?’
And now I know
Acceptance is active and creative
And now I am
Excited, happy, alive!
Free of all lofty intention…
How dear is my present to me!
Even as it stands imperfect
And flawed
I know it. It’s familiar.
I’m drawn to it because it so effortlessly
Becomes mine
My present is the culmination
Of the hours, days and years I’ve devoted to
Become me.
If I lose it, I will lose all the vanities
That I had with great complexity interwoven with
My being
I will stand a ridiculous lie unto myself!
My heart will weep not so much
For the loss of people, places, property
Or poetry
But for standing disrobed and diminished
Before all that I dressed up
And decorated.
The present is rich in the meanings of thoughts
Whose enslavement I have come
To enjoy.
Who am I without them?
WHERE am I without them? They’re all
I’ve known.
My tormentors have been my only love…
And even though I know
That life is a habitually
Late messiah
A sleeping savior in a dream state
I can see now that I’m nothing more than
Its dream.
I see it now as an idyllic moment
This ensemble before me
Unfolding its meaning
Undressing like a new bride
As I sit and watch
As is ritual
The world move by
Outside my window
Rains lashing
My silence hitherto undisturbed
is seduced now
By the strains of an effusive piano
Playing in the soul of a CD
…somewhere in the distance
Of a love felt deeply
As deeply as feeling will allow…
Men, women and children
Hurry past my frame
Creatures of free will
Now like puppets on strings of rain
They seem beautiful in their vulnerability
Simple in their motives
As they run on surrendered feet
To familiar sounds, spaces and rituals…
Is that really true?
Or is that simply my view?
-An idyllic view…
The sum of a subliminal math
Of a memory recalled by a sentimental piano
And stirrings emancipated by an unbridled monsoon
And people running as the rain wills
Randomly. Intermittently.
Maybe that’s all there is
Maybe that’s all that takes
To see the world as beautiful
Sometimes all you need
Is beautiful music
A beautiful memory
A beautiful window
And
A beautiful ritual.
Yes…
I would’ve liked better teacups
But here you are
Nevertheless
Forsaken or gifted
Standing before me every morning
And so…
Despite a petulant will
Everyday I grow to love you
And everyday
I get acquainted
With your unexpected beauty
Love and Beauty
You’ve taught me
Are not mere affections
They are the gifts of our attention
Joys that we receive
Not in our hours of need or merit
But in the generosity of our receptiveness
They’re never destinations
But journeys of long, slow acquaintance
Of discovering
And getting to know.
Why speak
Of everything the ears hear
Or of every thought the mind entertains
Why must I be dragged
Out of a sense of custom or civility
Into every exchange of dull gossip
Why must I be numbed
Into believing every lame fib
That masquerades as profound insight
How do I purge out
Every toxic thought
That has been dumped into my mind
And now stains everything I see
How do I skim
This scum of ideas
That grotesquely distorts
An otherwise silent and clear reflection
How do I rise above
This discontent with my world
And forgive its relentless assault on my senses
Should I…
Refuse to see?
Refuse to hear?
Refuse to feel?
Would that help?
Why, I wonder,
Must there be all or nothing…
…Gently but surely
it dawns upon me
the meaning of Providence
…Of Indiscriminate and Total Abundance
…Of Benevolent Blessings
And now my mind rests…
Clean and still…
Receptive and silent…
Reflecting –as it does and it must
Inch for inch
Your full embrace.
If only we knew… knew what we truly wanted… knew what was expected of us… knew our true potential… knew clearly- right from wrong… knew how to work, to love, to care, to respond, to express, to atone, to change… the list is endless!
But, why do we wish to know? Do we hope and perhaps, suppose that knowledge can arm us with the power to shape our experiences; that somehow we can take charge of our destinies and escape the effects of karma? Is there this hope within us that prior knowledge can help mitigate the experiences that life has in store for us?
And, does it? Does knowing about death; about the transient and phenomenal nature of existence save us from experiencing grief and sorrow and loss? Does knowing a priori the many challenges in a marital relationship save us from experiencing our own?
What then, can be an appropriate expectation from our knowledge? Is the purpose of man’s education to ‘know’ his world and thereby gain sovereignty over it? We wish that our learning be elegant, sophisticated, free of all embarrassing follies. Yet, probe a little, and you’ll see that it is only after fully experiencing that we truly learn. We get affected, addicted; we fall; we err; we summon up a dormant courage, we rise and we learn. Our education system supposes that if we started from the end we’d skip the pain and suffering and jump to a higher level of consciousness. So it says- learn, rise, summon up your courage and beware of falling… But then, aren’t we putting the proverbial cart before the horse?
What is true knowledge? When can you say you know something? How do you know? Can knowledge be borrowed or transferred? Does knowledge fulfill a purpose or is knowledge in itself, the purpose to be fulfilled?
We perceive a world external to us. It seems to have been there even before we were born and we believe it shall be there even after we go. Our instructions about this world begin very early on in our lives. We see, hear, smell, taste and touch and that knowledge is interpreted for us. We’re informed that that what we touch, see, hear and smell has a name; and not only will knowing those names do us good (in terms of social acceptance and survival), but also, we must know what the world before us has known about our experiences. We call this education.
But is such an education past its day? When man believed that the world manifest before him was a challenge he needed to surmount, an education at the level of gathering and disseminating information may have been relevant and enough. But has this information-oriented system of education become irrelevant today? Today, we’re aware that the world’s challenges- global warming, environmental molestation, terrorism, consumerism, corruption, violence, excessive legislation, power imbalances, wealth and resource depletion and of course, a token education begin and end with the biggest culprit- man himself. He alone is both the problem and its solution. Of all the problems we perceive at a macro level, the individual’s constitution is the microcosm. What seems like a huge monster-like challenge- standing outside of us- has in reality- proceeded from the darkness of the individual heart and mind. Where true knowledge is absent, imagination is most fertile and desire uncontrollable. Our imagining that our futures might be at stake pushes us to amass and hoard wealth. Our imagining that we may be deprived of love, affection and acceptance, makes pretense, lying and empty tokenism a way of life. Our imaginary fear that life is ruthless and difficult makes corrupting an easy lifestyle choice. We delude ourselves into believing that we know… but can you truly claim to know anything without knowing the fears and machinations of your own mind.
It is to dispel this darkness that man seeks knowledge. And we wish that the knowledge we receive be true and authentic and not the mere transference of another’s interpretation and fertile imagination. But how are we to know that we indeed, truly know?
We read. We speak. We exchange views and we find ourselves believing some things and discarding others. The external stimuli are available to all; yet the simple action of an apple falling from a tree prompts a Newton to discover the law of gravity, an artist to see in it a rich symbolism and an agriculturist- an opportunity for cultivation. It seems that we come to know what is in our essential nature to know. We can only know that which resonates and concurs with something already in existence within us. Look back and you shall see that the knowledge that truly mattered was not that which cloaked your ignorance, but was that which revealed to you your wisdom. Wisdom does not dwell in the height or breadth of our thinking, but lies in the depth of our understanding. And therefore, often, the most erudite teachings, that hold the answers to every possible question ever asked pass us by like an indifferent wind. Not everything touches us, speaks to us or inspires us. And when something does, we truly feel that it lends more power to our voice.
True knowledge therefore, may be discerned in correct self-expression. When you know something truly and authentically, it flows in and out of you as effortlessly as your breath. The quest for knowledge is fundamentally, a search for your own voice.
Knowledge and understanding cannot be given to us unless we have within us an equal knowledge and understanding to give.
Feeling now keeps its distance from me
I can see it
And am aware of its presence
But feeling and I don’t touch anymore
Our love affair-
Torrid, passionate, obsessive and humiliating
Has ended
We’ve drifted apart as lovers
And found our bliss as friends
Co-existing and comfortable
In the separateness of our identities.
You are the object…
The Reason, the Diety
– that which engages life within me
In You I search
And I find
-my despair, my purpose, my redemption
You stand there
Feet-tied, tongue- tied, heart-in-knots
Unable to help me
But…
It is through You
I make the journey
Back to myself
From beginning
To end
To beginning again.