“Does love exist,” she asked
“Expectations unmet
And feelings are held on to closely
On a short leash…
And what about love?
Love stays in my head
Not my heart
It lives on as a concept
It seldom, if ever
Enters my aching heart
Does it exist? Anywhere?
And should it exist?
My relationships are but a transaction
Held together precariously
By a concept called ‘duty’.
What makes ‘duty’ more dear than love?
Perhaps because I sees that everybody else thinks so…
Love is this fluid, uncontrollable ache
Love knows no partiality
It reveals all
And that’s the scary part
That in love
I will be seen in my nakedness
My skin will lie before you
In all its blemishes
My aching heart will
with innate gravity and force
Drop me to unimaginable lows
I will long for you and your deliverance
With no certainty ever
That I shall be received by the open arms of your own longing
Love can just about assure me of two mercies:
Hope and Faith.
But it is duty that’s more prudent,
more pragmatic
It helps me float over the ache
And it is Duty that pays the bills
For all those distractions
That fill up my space and time
And love continues to live on
In my head
As a concept.
And because it does
there are expectations unmet
And feelings restrained.”